Something happens the second you become a mother. You would fight anyone and anything to keep your baby safe. Which is why it was hard to read the horrific story on Christmas about the Stamford, Connecticut mother, Madonna Badger, who fled her burning home only to lose her parents and three daughters in the flames. One of the most tragic stories of the year, we followed Badger as she eulogized her daughters in an incredibly beautiful way, and held our children close because there is no way to truly understand what she is going through at this unimaginable time.
And now Madonna Badger has attempted to take her own life in the face of such horror. It was reported on Wednesday that Badger was hospitalized after trying to commit suicide and is doing "okay." As okay as anyone could be after losing not only her 9-year-old daughter and 7-year-old twins, but also her parents. Which is to say, not okay at all.
When I read the headline, I simply nodded my head. Because what else would you expect from a mother faced with this loss? I simply know that I could not live through losing my children, and many mothers would agree. Badger did not have even one of her children left to focus on and to inspire her to get out of bed in the morning. Nope, I couldn't make it through either. Assuming her parents were a source of support, with the two of them gone as well ... my heart breaks for this woman.
If you, like me, tried to avoid reading all of the details of this tragic tale of one mistake turning deadly, you'll be excused. After all, no mother wants to even consider that something like this could happen. But when I saw her face and the word "suicide" next to her picture, I couldn't help but try to understand what she must be feeling. We all say that we would die for our children. The assumption being that we can protect them even if it means giving up our own lives. To know that is not the case because you buried them is simply unbearable.
It seems that Badger does have some support with friends and family, and with their help, let's hope she does make it through. If only to show all of us that you can face the worst and come back from the brink damaged, but still breathing.
Have you avoided reading stories about the Badger family, as a mom?
Image via benwatts/Flickr