Advice. It's the one thing you never need to ask for, but always have too much of.
People are more than happy to share exactly how they managed to raise the most perfect children in the world, telling you everything from how to get them to sleep to the best way to wean them off the pacifier to getting them to study at night. Everyone and their mother are an expert on child-rearing, it seems.
I asked by friends for the worst piece of parenting advice they ever received and got some whoopers -- sound familiar?
1. "Sleep when she sleeps. What a crock of shit! If I'd done that, I'd have starved, stunk, needed the diaper myself."
2. "That my autistic son would 'grow out of it.' Uh huh."
3. "To give my baby mashed potatoes to help him sleep through the night ... He was 3 weeks old!"
More from The Stir: 10 Snarky Responses to Unwanted Parenting Advice
4. "My pediatrician's advice for flying internationally with a 2-year-old and 4-year-old -- sleep deprivation for a few days before the flight so they'll sleep. Because overtired little kids are SO MUCH EASIER than normal ones."
5. "It's okay to ask for help from your mother-in-law."
6. "You don't feel pain, it's pressure! Hahahaha ... obviously they have never had a baby above 7 pounds!"
7. "To beat, not only spank, but beat my 3-year-old son when he refused to use the toilet. Because nothing says I want you to be comfortable using the commode like getting your butt smacked for refusing."
8. "That I should let my husband relax when he gets home from work because I've been home all day with a baby and a 2-year-old and therefore have no right to some help in the evenings."
9. "The second one is easier than the first. And once you have two, it doesn't matter how many more you have, it's all the same. BULLSHIT."
10. "You can't get pregnant if you're breastfeeding. My three kids prove THAT one wrong!"
More from The Stir:
The Best Parenting Advice You'll Ever Get
Attention Shoppers: This Is the Most Annoying Parenting Move Ever
What's the worst advice you've ever received?
Photo courtesy of Jill Smokler