Breastfeed, they say. It will be easy, they say. Oh how "they" lie. After nursing three children exclusively for six months and off and on after that for years, I can say unequivocally: there is NOTHING "easy" about breastfeeding.

This is not to say it's not a worthy endeavor. It is. So much so. But it can also be a long hard slog, especially in the early months, and it never fully gets easier. To be 100 percent responsible for the nourishment and growth of another person is both an awesome and overwhelming responsibility, and that's to say nothing of the pitfalls -- mastitis, nipple scabs, engorgement, TEETH.

Now that I am three kids deep and five months into my last nursling's exclusive nursing phase, I can say I have learned a few things along the way. So what does a new mom need for her nursing survival kit? Here are the basics:

What was your must-have for nursing?

Images ©iStock.com/Zurijeta (top) and ©iStock.com/evgenyatamanenko (bottom)

Talk about heartbreaking. On Monday, a mom who was riding the subway in New York City with her baby allegedly abandoned her at a stop. The woman, Frankea Dabbs, has been arrested and charged with abandonment and acting in a manner injurious to a child less than 17.

In a video, cops say Dabbs can be seen pushing a stroller with her 10-month-old child in it onto the platform and getting back on the train alone. Soon after the incident, another woman found the baby, stayed with her for 20 minutes, and then called the authorities.

The baby, who's healthy and unharmed, is currently at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center. Dabbs allegedly told cops that she was homeless, that she felt she could no longer take care of the child, and that she felt that leaving her in a safe public place was her best bet.

Details for this horrible situation still remain pretty scant, but at first glance, this is a pretty strange scenario. In the photos, and after being examined, the baby looks extremely healthy and well-cared for; not like a child who was abused or malnourished during the past few months or weeks. In fact, if you only saw a photo of the girl, you'd think she came from a perfectly normal household. This doesn't appear to be a case of constant neglectful parenting.

What caused Dabbs to suddenly feel like she couldn't go on? Was it a moment or something she'd been thinking about for a while? As parents, most of us have experienced a fleeting feeling like we simply can't make it another day. We're so exhausted and stressed that we just want an out. Clearly, abandoning our children is definitely not the answer.

What is?

Parenting will never be an easy game -- especially when you're homeless -- but when you decide to have a kid, you have to put them first. Always. It isn't always easy; it isn't always fun, but it's the right thing to do. Not sure if Dabbs truly thought leaving her baby at a subway was the best option, but it's important we, as parents, always think every decision involving our kids through thoroughly.

Obviously, most parents' situations are quite different from Dabbs', but she's certainly not the first mother or father who's felt completely overwhelmed. An important thing is to remove yourself from the situation as much as possible, try to think of a course of action, and then return with a cooler, more even-keeled head.

Right now, the important thing is that this sweet baby girl is okay. Hopefully both she and her mother will get the help they need -- and more so, hopefully this angel will never have any recollection of what happened.

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Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed?

Image via New York Police Department

Trying to think of a cute, original name for your baby girl? So are lots of other parents! Nameberry released the top baby names of 2014 so far, and as far as girls are concerned, the names are getting more unique and "out there" than ever before. (You won't believe number one!)

As for the little dudes? Not so much. Their names are deviating a little bit from the Johns, Michaels, and Toms of the past ... but they're still pretty conventional.

Wanna know what the top 10 boy and girl names are?

Top 10 Girls' Names of 2014 (so far):

1. Imogen

2. Charlotte

3. Isla

4. Cora

5. Penelope

6. Violet

7. Amelia

8. Eleanor

9. Harper

10. Claire

Top 10 Boys' Names of 2014 (so far):

1. Asher

2. Declan

3. Atticus

4. Finn

5. Oliver

6. Henry

7. Silas

8. Jasper

9. Milo

10. Jude

It's worth noting that Khaleesi (yes, from Game of Thrones) is at number 18 for girls' names; Katniss (yes, from Hunger Games) is at 14; and Adelaide, which is the name actress Katherine Heigl chose for her daughter, is at number 12. Also worth noting? Until very recently, Imogen wasn't even in the top 1,000 in terms of American baby names. And now it's at number one! That's quite a leap!

Judging from this list, it seems like parents are interested in breaking free of the confines of traditional baby names in general (Atticus is a bit more unusual than, say, Jack). But it also seems like moms and dads of girls are willing to go a little more "weird," for lack of a better word. Perhaps it's because there's a belief that girls can "get away with more," or simply because there are more girl name options to choose from?

Either way, we say bring on the unusual names. Traditional names are nice, but there are only so many Kates and Michaels we need in the world.

Does your child have an usual name?

Image © Artiga Photo/CORBIS

Gisele Bundchen. Miranda Kerr. Jaime King. Natalia Vodianova. All supermodels (or ex- in the case of Ms. King), all beautiful, all breastfeeding, all have shared photos of themselves breastfeeding, and all have faced backlash over said photos. Although many people saw these photos as beautiful or just another way to support breastfeeding, some have seen them as being “too sexual” or even harming the societal push to normalize breastfeeding again (yes, “again,” as there was a time when it’s just what was done, no questions asked).

The most recent picture to raise eyebrows (and get fingers typing) was Natalia Vodianova’s Instagram picture of her nursing her baby in the nude. In the midst of the praise for the beauty of the picture, some have gone so far as to say they are appalled by the image -- just as people were appalled when Gisele shared a shot of her breastfeeding while getting her hair and makeup done for a photo shoot, or trashed Ms. Kerr or Ms. King for sharing their photos because either they “weren’t appropriate” or shouldn’t have been shared.

As Alyssa Ashton wrote for Canadian Living about Natalia Vodianova’s recent photo, “No mum looks like this when she breastfeeds. Her hair and make-up isn’t usually done. She isn’t posing seductively. And she certainly isn’t breastfeeding in the nude. I hate this image because it presents breastfeeding in an inaccurate fashion.” 

Ms. Ashton’s comments highlight what has become a minefield for women sharing breastfeeding photos in public in hopes of either normalizing breastfeeding or simply sharing a moment: No matter what the picture is, or who shares it, it’s wrong. These pictures are too sexy. Too formal. Too stiff. Shouldn’t be shared in public. Unfair to mothers who don’t have access to the same resources as these models. Glamorize breastfeeding. Sexualize breastfeeding ... In short, they don’t “look” like breastfeeding is “supposed to look like.” It’s not just celebrities either. Jamie Lynne Grumet from I Am Not the Babysitter was catapulted into the public eye with the infamous Time cover of her nursing her then-3-year-old standing up. People repeatedly stated the image wasn’t a “good representation” of breastfeeding.

What I’d like to know is, what is breastfeeding supposed to look like?

Is it just this lovey-dovey moment between mother and child as they’re curled up on the sofa gazing at each other? That’s a wonderful moment (one I’ve experienced many times), but it’s certainly not the be all and end all of breastfeeding. I can return to what Ms. Ashton wrote and tell you that I have nursed in all the ways she mentions, including the come hither look (you know, the “Hey baby, let me put this baby to sleep so we can have some fun!” look). I also smiled when I saw Ms. Grumet’s cover because, at the time, my daughter regularly stood on things to have a quick drink, and it was nice to know it wasn’t just me. I also have a picture of me nursing while getting my makeup done a la Gisele.

I have nursed in so many different places while doing so many different things and looking so many different ways and I am happy to share any of them because they are all what breastfeeding looks like. Breastfeeding doesn’t look one way because we as nursing mothers aren’t just one thing. We are mothers, but we are also sexual beings and the two are not incompatible. In fact, we do a disservice to women when we are, in essence, telling them that they can’t be sexual whilst breastfeeding, that they have to remain asexual because it’s not true. It’s not just about sexuality though, because we also work, we might enjoy doing our makeup every day (or not), we might prefer to read a book or watch TV while nursing sometimes, or we may not want to stop what we are doing resulting in nursing on the go or while doing something else. We may nurse nude, we may nurse in bed, after a shower, or at the dinner table. Just as no two women are the same, no two nursing experiences are the same between or even within women.

We have to stop this ridiculous and wrong idea that breastfeeding has to look a certain way. People trying to normalize breastfeeding have a hard enough time on their hands with people who feel it’s something that should be kept quiet and out of sight without adding that only certain pictures of breastfeeding are “acceptable.” Just because one person’s nursing experience doesn’t match your own, it doesn’t invalidate their breastfeeding experience, it just highlights how unique and special breastfeeding can be. Isn’t that something worth celebrating instead of shunning?

Images via natasupernova/Instagram; Tracy Cassels 

Amanda and Peter Grab have taken to throwing monthly birthday parties for their baby. No, they're not spoiling their 5-month-old. Or maybe they are, but it's only because they never know when it will be their last chance. Kinsley Grace Grab was born with spinal muscular atrophy or SMA.

Doctors can't tell her parents if the baby girl with bright blue eyes and a tuft of blond hair will live for months, for weeks, for days. SMA is fatal. There is no cure.

And as Amanda told The Stir, "Nobody thinks it can happen to you, but it CAN," she said. "It happened to us."

In fact, type one SMA is the leading genetic killer of children under age 2. According to the non-profit Families of SMA, the motor neuron disease is considered rare, but it's fairly common -- 1 in 6,000 babies born are affected, and about 1 in 40 people are genetic carriers.

It takes two genetic carriers of SMA coming together to make a baby with SMA.

Peter and Amanda Grab were both genetic carriers.

But they didn't find out until after their newborn daughter began struggling to breathe, after they'd gone to three different pediatricians and two neurologists to find out why their little girl struggled to move.

"She was really weak," Amanda says of Kinsley in her first month. "But everybody kept saying, 'Every baby progresses on their own.'"

The emergency room nurse and her US Navy husband knew better. They pushed for answers, answers they finally got from the doctors at the Naval hospital in Portsmouth, Virginia.

The neurologist who diagnosed Kinsley with SMA told Amanda, "I can't promise you a week, I can't promise you a month." The disease could take her at any time.

The Grabs have learned that two parents who carry the SMA gene have a 50 percent chance of having a baby who is also a carrier, a 25 percent chance of having a baby who is totally unaffected, and a 25 percent chance of having a baby with what Amanda dubs "full blown SMA."

"Kinsley unfortunately got that 25 percent," Amanda said. "And my first thought was why? What did we do wrong?"

The couple thought they'd made the right decisions. They'd graduated from the same high school in New York, and Peter had gone straight into the US Navy. He served a tour in Afghanistan and rose to the rank of petty officer, second class. Amanda went to nursing school and got a job in the emergency room. They married. They bought a house in Virginia, near where Peter is stationed. They decided to have a baby.

Healthy and in their 20s, they saw no reason for genetic testing. Because Amanda had worked at a specialty center for care and treatment of kids with significant disabilities during nursing school, they did opt for pre-natal screenings, but no abnormalities were revealed.

And then came Kinsley, a little girl who filled a hole in her parents' lives.

"A year ago, Peter and I were expecting her and so excited for the future," Amanda said. "Now we are excited for every minute we have with her and dread the future without her. We are trying to do everything possible to make her happy. We have a lifetime without her to be sad ... right now we will celebrate her life."

So in between doctor's visits and fittings for a bipap machine, in between surgeries, and in between constant wakings throughout the night to suction their daughter's lungs so she can breathe, Amanda and Peter throw birthday parties. They sing songs. They blow bubbles and let her try ice cream and hot fudge.

They try to fit a lifetime into whatever time they have left.

"We are trying to stay positive not only for her but for us as a couple," Amanda admits. "We have been through a lot. July 22 will be our three-year wedding anniversary. We have been through two seven-month deployments in that time, the last deployment being Afghanistan. I would take the stress of deployments any day over this."

Looking back, she questions their decision not to have genetic tests before conception, but the Grabs' decision is fairly common. More than half of all pregnant women undergo some sort of pre-natal testing, but there is scant reporting on parents choosing genetic testing before conception.

Facing the future without their daughter, Amanda has been forced to consider what her family will look like.

"I just can't picture our future without a baby," she says, wistfully. But at $20,000 for the sort of IVF that would test embryos for genetic abnormalities -- not covered by insurance -- whether they will ever try again for a baby is uncertain.

What is certain is their commitment to preventing other families from having to say goodbye to their babies.

"We want people to be aware this CAN happen to you," Amanda said. "It's one in 6,000 babies.

"We know that this is going to make us a stronger, and we pray that others will hear our story and reflect on their family dynamics and cherish their time together more," she added. "This has definitely slowed us down, to appreciate the now."

For more information on SMA, research efforts toward a cure, and what it means to be a carrier, visit Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy. For more information on the Grabs, visit Give Forward.

Did you have any testing done before conception? What was it for?

Images via Amanda Grab

You may not realize it beforehand, but when you decide to have a baby, you also decide to have a messy breakup with sleep. Why "messy"? Because you and Sleep aren't ending your relationship mutually with a long walk on the beach, final lingering hug, and tandem tear-stained cheeks. It's more of a coming home and finding that Sleep dumped all of your crap on the lawn and set fire to them kind of breakup. It's ugly. And it's not Sleep, it's you. Actually, it's more the third wheel who just entered the party: Your baby.

The night you bring your perfect, red-faced newborn home with you from the hospital, it starts. And it can last for months. Nightly, you will be ripped out of a peaceful slumber (numerous times) in order to shuffle over to your crying baby who needs to be changed, fed, and comforted. And, although you make think that some sleep is better than no sleep, the scary truth is: It's not. Scientists just discovered that broken up sleep is the equivalent of about four hours of consecutive sleep. And that ain't good for a number of reasons, friends.

In the first study of its kind, researchers from Tel Aviv University's School of Psychological Sciences discovered that interrupted sleep can be as bad for us as no sleep at all. Technically speaking, when we're functioning on very little, broken-up sleep, we become, well, jerkfaces. The study, which may seem obvious but hadn't yet made the scientific link, showed that "induced night wakings, in otherwise normal individuals, clearly lead to compromised attention and negative mood" -- after just one night. So when you put a clean diaper on over your kid's dirty one; put the half and half away in the cupboard; and explode at your partner because it seems like he's physically incapable of replacing the roll of paper towels on the counter, instead opting to leave an ugly brown tube that serves no purpose whatsoever on the holder -- you can blame science.

The silver lining of it all? Well, who are we kidding here, there's no silver lining when it comes to sleep deprivation. But you can (un)rest assured that -- eventually -- you'll get a full night's sleep again. Promise. And when that happens, you and your partner can look back at all the crazy things you did and nasty things you said and laugh. If you haven't killed each other first.

How do you behave when you're functioning on no sleep?

Image © Jamie Grill/Tetra Images/Corbis

Working moms have it rough—and a new report reveals just how rough by highlighting the worst states for working mothers. In their third annual review of state laws for working parents, the survey "Expecting Better" by the National Partnership for Women & Families doled out grades for each state, and let's just say most won't make the honor roll anytime soon.

Only one state, California, fell in the "A" range with an A-. I was somewhat happy to see that my own state, New York, was one of nine states that earned a B.

But 17 states got Fs due to their complete disregard for parents' desire to balance work and family. Curious if your state flunked and why? Here are the 17 losers ...

Did your state make the "worst" list?

Image via © Roy McMahon/Corbis

When Abby Theuring first named her blog TheBadass Breastfeeder, it was a bit of a joke. But the name certainly fits a woman who has become the center of a national debate over breastfeeding your toddler and your baby both -- at the same time.

Abby's son Exley is 5 weeks old. Her son Jack will be 3 this month. And the former social worker from Chicago is not ready to wean either one. But when she said so on her blog, in an article boldly titled "I Will Not Wean My 3-Year-Old," the Internet debate began.

The Stir asked this badass mama to share how she plans to tandem nurse a 3-year-old and a 3-month-old, and why she's glad her story is spreading:

Where did the nameThe Badass Breastfeeder come from?

Before the blog and Facebook page, I was a part of a mommy Facebook group. I shared a breastfeeding photo of Jack and me in there one day and got a crash course in breastfeeding politics. Some people said it was gross to share that pic, that it is a private moment and I shouldn't share pics like that. Others came to my defense and it was a whole dramatic scene. This motivated me to start my own page dedicated to sharing breastfeeding photos.

When I shared this idea with my friend, she said, "You should call it The Badass Breastfeeder." It sort of suits my personality.

How did you become such an advocate for breastfeeding and moms in general?

By total accident! At the same time as the idea came to create the Facebook page, I became interested in blogging. I had just decided not to return to work and began to write about my experiences as a new mother.

I had a difficult time getting started with breastfeeding. I was told to supplement with formula to help build my supply, which is terrible advice, and I spent about two months trying to save my breastfeeding relationship. The amount of research I did and the amount of dedication that I showed during that time were a total surprise to me. I fought so hard. I didn't know I had that in me.

More From The Stir: Mom Who Gave Birth in the Wild Shares Her 'Earth Birthing' Experience

Also through that research, I learned about Attachment Parenting and felt a deep connection to it. I felt like all of my struggles as a new mom were being validated. I just kept writing and writing about this transformation that my family was going through and people identified with it.

After a while, so many people were following that I sort of naturally adjusted to this "advocate" role. The job that I had left was as a social worker. I think it's something that just finds me.

Let's get personal -- when did it hit you that you were going to be nursing Jack and Exley at the same time? Was it a conscious plan or just something that happened?

It was totally planned. Even before getting pregnant, I had seen pictures of women doing it and it just seemed so beautiful and intimate. I thought that it seemed like a great way to help adjust to a new sibling. I got my mind on it and really wanted to succeed at it.

Jack had always nursed frequently, and I was fairly sure that he would nurse through my pregnancy and still be nursing once a new baby came. It seemed like a great way to continue to meet his needs, to remain close and form a new bond as our family grew.

Was there ever a moment when you said, "Hey, what the heck am I doing?"

ALL. THE. TIME.

About halfway through my pregnancy, I began to experience nursing aversion. A very intense feeling of irritation and creepy-crawly while Jack was latched on. It's physical, emotional, psychological. It's quite difficult to deal with. Some days were good, some bad. I stuck it out in hopes that it would subside when the baby was born. It's still here. I still have good days and bad.

Jack has increased his nursing since the birth of Exley. I think it's a natural reaction to the adjustment to our new family member. I feel strongly that continuing my breastfeeding relationship with Jack is the right thing for my family, but it's a really big struggle right now. We are working hard on creating some boundaries so that my body can relax and rest. If it were up to Jack, he would nurse all day!

So why are you doing it anyway?!

It's something that has always been a big part of Jack's life. I don't feel it is the right time to wean him. We are all going through such a huge adjustment, I think it would do more harm than good to switch it up so drastically right now. We are making progress together, and I can tell that Jack and Exley are drawn to it.

They are the most settled and relaxed when they are both latched on. It really is helping them bond.

I love how you said it's "not pretty" when you're feeding both boys. So real! What's the biggest challenge to nursing a toddler and a newborn?

For me the nursing aversion is the biggest struggle. I have to be careful to monitor my own emotions so that I don't get too touched-out or overwhelmed. After that just finding a comfortable position. It's not nothing having three humans stuffed into a chair!

It's definitely real life doing all this. There is no way to fake it for the camera when there is a bouncing toddler nearly crushing the newborn who has no control over his own body. One day I was nursing them both when my husband walked up to me and handed me a plate of food. You have no hands free when you are tandem nursing. I looked up at him and said, "You're f--king kidding me, right?"

What's the biggest joy?

Seeing Jack and Exley getting to know each other, watching them explore each other. Jack likes to do the Itsy Bitsy Spider finger walk up Exley's leg to his arm over his head onto my head and down his own body. It's really adorable.

Or Exley will get his fingers all tangled into his mouth and break the latch. Jack will watch him and pull his hand away so he stays latched on.

Now for the nitty gritty ... how are you making it work? Any good tips for other moms?

Just know that sometimes you are going to feel that you aren't capable of making it all work. It's OK to feel that way. It's no reflection on the quality of work you are doing. It's just crazy madness some days.

We've decided it's OK to totally give up on a day. We'll just stay in our pajamas, watch TV all day, eat ice cream before dinner, have dinner on paper plates, and call it a day.

I can't chase this imaginary perfect mother ideal. It makes me crazy. I have no idea how I am making it work. Oftentimes, I feel like nothing works. I guess you can only take it one moment at a time, and when that falls completely apart, just know there is another one and try again.

Some things I have been trying are creating boundaries with Jack. I make sure to have food and drinks available to him all the time. I am trying to create more of a schedule for him so that he is not just hanging on my boob endlessly. Also getting out of the house. This is only helpful if you have a frequently nursing toddler. Otherwise, I might suggest lots of pillows to try to find a comfortable position!

What is the reaction like when you're out with both boys? Any bad?

I have only had two boys for a month, but I have tandem breastfed in public several times and no one bats an eye. I have never had any negative feedback nursing in public. It's so unlikely that will happen.

How about good?

I've had lots of "good job mama!" "way to go!" "you rock!" type comments. It's really online where the negativity prevails. In real life, humans often treat each other like, well, humans!

Why do you think people have responded to your story of breastfeeding both boys?

I think it's because it involves so many controversial aspects all wrapped into one. Nursing a toddler, tandem nursing, nursing in public are all things that everyone seems to have a strong opinion about.

Also, there are so many moms doing this, but it's not something that you see very often and some even hide it. I think people get excited when they see someone doing things similar to them. It's validation.

If another mom asks you if she should do what you're doing ... what do you say?

I say "hell no." The only way anyone is going to be happy and at peace is by figuring out what is right for them and doing that. I want to help women explore all of the options since we are generally only presented with a couple of ways to do things. I want women to have all of the information. And then they can make the decision for their family about what is best.

Empowering women is not about telling them what to do. It's about helping them figure out what is best for them and giving them the confidence to do exactly that.

Are you a badass breastfeeder? Share your story below!

Images via Abby Theuring

If you worry about food allergies,listen up. In a new study coming out of Australia, researchers have discovered that babies might develop allergies before they're even born.

After examining blood samples from 12 children with allergies, doctors from the Murdoch Children's Research Institute in Melbourne were able to see that certain babies were actually born with significant genetic differences, meaning that they didn't develop them after birth.

The report is bringing up the age-old nature vs. nurture battle. By studying the babies' epigenetics (the change in gene expression when they're reacting to different environmental factors), the doctors were able to narrow down the origin of their allergic genes. And it's causing plenty of questions for parents.

So far, doctors have only studied 12 babies, but they do plan to expand the research and perform the study on 5,000 subjects to get a more comprehensive idea of the real scale of the genes.

To get a better idea of what this could means for moms, the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (AAAAI) recommends that parents introduce allergenic foods to their baby between 4 and 6 months of age, and only after solid foods have been fed and ingested properly. Then, if baby does not have a reaction to the new foods, the amounts can be increased every three to five days.

But each time parents start a new food, there's a level of worry and risk. What if baby doesn't like it? Or worse, what if they get sick?

Keeping that in mind, if this study holds true, and if further studies confirm these initial results, then it could be great news for moms. No more worrying about what's going to happen when you introduce different foods, because doctors can tell you from the start what your baby is allergic to.

And better yet, if they can figure out the genes in utero, maybe they can actually prevent food allergies one of these days. Hey, here's hoping.

Would you want these gene tests performed on your child? Would you rather know if your child has a preexisting allergy?

Image ©iStock.com/princessdlaf

There's been baby news upon baby news this week in Hollywood, and Jimmy Kimmel and his wife, Molly McNearney, are the latest celebs who have welcomed their new additions. Kimmel and McNearney had their baby girl yesterday and have given her quite the all-American name: Jane.

In typical comedian fashion (McNearney is a head writer for Kimmel's late night show), both took to Twitter to share their news:

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Congratulations to my beautiful and very tough wife @mollymcnearney on delivering our baby girl this morning

— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) July 10, 2014

Kids, don't do drugs. Until you have a baby. Then do ALL OF THEM.

— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) July 10, 2014

Sounds like it might have been a hard labor and delivery, and filled with plenty of drugs, but baby Jane is finally here. And it was a little bit of a surprise to boot: Kimmel and his wife chose not to know the sex of the baby during pregnancy.

But they had plenty of time to prepare a name. Ultimately, though, it looks like Kimmel's original baby name ideas lost out. Karate Kimmel? The Riddler? Effin? Maybe next time, Jimmy. Jane clearly won out. It's a simple name, isn't too popular (was number 355 on the Social Security Administation's top 1,000 list in 2013), but perfectly rolls off the tongue. Jane Kimmel. Cute, no?

Congratulations to the family!

What do you think of the name?

Image via Rob Kim/Getty

How do you leave a child in a hot car? It's a question every parent has asked at one time or another -- usually sparked by a headline about a child dying in a vehicle somewhere in the United States. Lyn Balfour has asked the question too. She's asked the question about herself.

The 13-year veteran of the US Army, member of the Army Reserves, and mother of five -- including three children 6 and under -- left her son Bryce in her car on March 30, 2007. By the time she realized her mistake, her 9-month-old son was dead.

After being charged with his death and later being found not guilty, Balfour has became a fierce advocate for educating parents on these accidental tragedies. She spoke with The Stir about the day her son died, and what kind of mom leaves a child in a hot car:

Can you walk me through that day?

This particular week, my husband had accidentally backed into my sister's car in the driveway, so her car was in the shop and she was using my husband's. So, he was riding with me to work, and I was dropping him off first and then the baby ...

This particular week, my son Bryce had been really fussy. He had a bad head cold, wasn't sleeping well because he couldn't suck on his pacifier at the same time, so he kept waking up.

The first three nights of the week, I had gotten up with him the majority of the night, and I was exhausted. That last night, my husband agreed to get up with him, but then he couldn't find his pacifier in his bed. Bryce went ballistic, woke up completely, and then I got up, was up with him for another hour and a half to two hours.

That was about 5 o'clock in the morning. I had to be up at 6:30 in order to get ready for work. I didn't actually get up until 7:15 because I was exhausted.

The initial thought in my mind was just to call in, stay home with Bryce because he was just very lethargic, he wasn't being normal because he was really tired too. But I had appointments that day -- at the [Judge Advocate General school in Charlottesville], students were graduating and I had no way to call the students that I had appointments with. I was like, you know what? It's Friday, I've just got to get through today and I can sleep tomorrow.

That particular morning, Jarrett got Bryce ready. He went to get in the vehicle, but before I came outside we were talking about a spare car seat that we could not get into the car correctly. He had been in the car seat for a couple of weeks, but it just wasn't sitting as secure as we felt it should be so we took that car seat out and put it in his old car seat.

That particular day, he said, "When are you going to get the car seat put in?" I said, "Put it in the car today, and I will go to like the fire department and get them to put it in correctly at lunch time."

He put the spare car seat in the car behind the front passenger seat in my field of view, and that car seat was empty. The other car seat, which is the car seat Bryce was in, when he put him in he put it behind my seat, the driver's seat.

On the way to work ... we don't remember hearing him. We don't remember talking with him or him cooing or anything like he normally would. We just assume it was because he was really tired.

I dropped my husband off, and shortly after that I got a phone call from work, from a co-worker. It was the first sergeant of the school very upset because we were honoring a fallen soldier from Iraq, his family was supposed to be coming in from California and the tickets had not been purchased through the travel agent that the military uses.

That was my area of responsibility -- I was transportation officer for the JAG school. I immediately got on the phone, started making phone calls, called the family that was waiting at the airport, talked to the gate agent, said please don't let the plane go, this is very important for this family to get on the flight.

Is this while you were still driving?

Yes, when I was on my way to work.

In my mind, I'd already made a stop, baby's dropped off. I passed right by where I would normally turn left to drop Bryce off to daycare.

Before I got to work, I got things resolved. I got ahold of the travel agent, they paged the tickets, everything.

I got to work, got out of the car and went into work like normal...

I get a phone call about 10:30 in the morning from the babysitter asking how Bryce was doing that day. The problem was I didn't get the phone call because she called my personal cellphone because the Friday before she had gotten a brand new cellphone and didn't have any of my work contact information in her phone.

That was communication failure number one.

The second thing was that in her file in her home she had all our contact information, my work cellphone number, my work office number, my husband's work office number but she just naturally assumed -- because it had happened in the past -- that I stayed home and he wasn't feeling well.

She didn't think to continue to communication, not thinking that he was accidentally not dropped off.

What time frame was this when she made the call?

10:30 in the morning.

I wasn't in the office when she called, but around 2 p.m., I pulled my cellphone personal cellphone out of my purse and I saw a missed call from her.

She had called me twice that morning. She called that first time and left a message and then she called again. It said missed call, but it never told me there was a message available.

At 2:30, I saw the missed call, I called her back, and I left her a message. She'd taken her other daycare kids to McDonald's as a treat, and around 2:30 she was still out ... So, I called and left a message ... she called me back when she saw a missed call from me at about 10 to 4.

I was just walking out of my office because we'd been given an hour out early. She asked me how Bryce was doing, and I was like "what do you mean?"

I didn't understand. I said, "Did Jarrett pick him up early?" not thinking that he didn't have a car because I had dropped him off.

She's like no, he's not here. She began to panic because I was so adamant that he was there.

Then, she turned around and she's like, "No Lyn, you didn't drop him off."

The whole morning flashes through my mind, and I can remember dropping him off. I can remember having a conversation with her. And that memory never happened. That conversation never happened. 

At this point, I panic. I ran to the car because I couldn't believe there was a possibility he could still be in the car and then I saw him in the car.

When you found him, what did you see?

He was in the backseat, he was hooked in, and he was not responsive. He was not breathing.

What did you do?

I started screaming and said, "Please somebody call 911!" And then -- even though I was extremely hysterical -- it's kind of hard to explain but my military training kind of took over.

I unhooked him, pulled him out of the car, ran around to the other side of the car, laid him on the ground, and started CPR.

What was the temperature that day?

The high that day was 66 degrees.

Do they know what that translates to in the car?

I don't recall specifically what the temperature was in the vehicle -- they took the measurement at 4:30 in the afternoon, but I think it was around 100 degrees. It was too hot for the child to be in the car, obviously.

It was only 39 degrees when we left the house that morning ... he probably passed away later in the morning or early afternoon because it was so cold that day, but on an 80-degree day, a child can die in 30 minutes or less.

The degrees once you turn off a vehicle can go up 10 degrees every 5 minutes, and children under a certain age do not have the type of temperature control that adults have. 

Obviously you're very educated about this now, but before this happened, did you know any of this?

No. And the thing now, which is why I'm an advocate, is because when they told me they couldn't save him, I said to myself, "How can I forget my kid? I can manage $47 million for the US military with every penny accounted for, and I was awarded a Bronze Star for those efforts, but how can I forget my kid? How can a loving, responsible, detail-oriented parent forget him, something so precious, something so valuable?"

I started educating myself and doing research on why it was possible and how it was possible.

The more research I did, the more I learned ... we have educated ourselves on babyproofing our home, but we do not educate ourselves on babyproofing our vehicles and that's what we need to do.

Unlike some parents I was absolutely blessed to have the opportunity to hold my son one last time and tell him goodbye, and I made a promise to him that no matter how painful it would be to go through my story over and over and over again if just one parent listens and understood about the dangers and educated themselves and took the prevention measures for vehicles ... his death would be worth it.

It would be worth losing a child to save 100. No parent wants to feel like I do every day, to be responsible for your own child's death. 

While you were there holding him, who responded?

The police and ambulance arrived.

What happened then?

They took over; they're more professional than I am.

They wouldn't let me ride in the back of the ambulance while they were working on him, but I rode up in front with the driver, and I called my husband and told him he had to get to the hospital right away because there was an accident, I forgot him in the car.

He didn't really understand because I was hysterical.

They took him into a room and were working on him while I was in the waiting room of the hospital and one of the doctors came in and said it wasn't looking good. I started praying to God to just take me.

Then maybe about 10 minutes later ... it seemed like a lifetime ... they came in and told me they couldn't save him.

I was hysterical, and all I could think of was how am I going to tell my husband that I killed his son?

What happened when your husband did get there?

The first sergeant of the school told my husband the news. She is a pastor at a church, and she was probably the best person to be able to tell him.

He came in and he was really upset and he was crying. I told him I was so sorry I forgot him.

They probably would not have let us see him and I don't even know if I would have been in the state of mind to ask to hold him one last time, but my husband said, "I want to see him, I want to see my son."

So, they escorted us into the room to see him one last time.

It was completely unbelievable and shocking to have to leave that hospital without him.

When you left the hospital, did you go home or were the police already there?

I got to go home, but the lead investigator on the case, they interviewed me at the hospital. I don't remember that at all.

That was on a Friday. I didn't talk to the police again until they arraigned me. That following Monday, I woke up and my mom and everybody got down there on Saturday and Sunday. They recommended that I get an attorney. I called a couple of attorneys to see what I would need to do.

The interesting thing was the lead investigator on the case walked in to the hospital that same day and told the first responders on the case, "OK, you guys go ahead and write your statements because we're going to charge her for everything you can."

He had not spoken to me and he had not spoken to my husband when he made that statement. So he already had his pre-formed opinion that I was guilty and they were going to go after me, and he was the one who set the tone for the case....

Nobody ever gets arraigned on a Saturday unless you're slapped with handcuffs and taken to jail, but they waited until the day of my son's funeral on a Friday to tell me they were arraigning me on charges the next day. Forty minutes after my son's funeral was over, I was at my house and the attorney I had spoken to, they called her and told her that I was going to be arraigned the following day.

I was really upset, and I was just like .... we're not going to be able to put our lives back together as a family, we have to go immediately into defense mode. My son died on the 30th of March. My husband left on the 21st of June to deploy to Iraq as a government contractor for 18 months in order to cover my attorney fees which ended up being $126,000.

What was the charge?

The initial charge was second degree murder and felony child abuse and neglect. They later amended that dropping the abuse and neglect and reducing the second degree to involuntary manslaughter.

Here in Virginia, it says willful act or admission. That was not the case. I didn't knowingly do that.

How long did the whole thing drag out? Did they put you through a long trial?

He died in March; I was charged the following week. The trial was like the 28th of January 2008. 

What was it like trying to grieve your child's death and on the other hand you don't know what's going to happen?

My perspective on it's a little different from other people. The thing I was worried about was my family -- my husband, my son who was at the time 14. That's who I was worried about, that's who I was stressed about it. 

My husband was getting ready to deploy, my son was trying to deal with the loss of his only sibling and his mom was facing 10 to 25 years in jail.

The thing is, I've been to a lot of place in the military that a lot of people, you see and experience things, like Bosnia. You talk to war victims and people who have gone through devastating things. I've been out in the middle of the desert during Desert Storm, and I had to go to the bathroom in a hole that I had to dig and bury.

Going to jail and sitting in a jail cell with three meals a day to me is not hell, and that's what I don't think that prosecuting attorneys and them ... they don't understand.

When they punish you for a crime they think you committed, it's supposed to be a deterrent, but how do you deter someone from accidentally forgetting your kid?

This has happened to a mathematical genius. This has happened to a NASA scientist. It has happened to a pediatrician. It's happened to numerous university professors. It's happened to the poor. It's happened to rich people. It's happened to middle class. It doesn't matter.

I explain to people who try to tell me they couldn't be that irresponsible, I was one of those parents. I had heard stories about that happening, and I said that could never happen to me, I'm not an irresponsible parent, that's got to be somebody who didn't do the right thing. That cannot be me.

I have found out it absolutely can be me, and that's why I educate. 

The reality is our brains don't differentiate between a child, a purse, a cellphone, a pair of glasses. It doesn't matter.

How do you tell parents to get past that though? If parents are stuck on that idea of "I'd never do that to my child," how do you get them past that and into actually being proactive?

If people say they can never do it, I give them examples:

I know plenty of people who take medication every day. If you didn't take that medication but you swear up and down that you did, it's call mis-remembering.

If that's happened to you, you can forget your child.

If you've ever driven anywhere, and you can't remember how you got there, that's a function of your brain going on auto-pilot. If that's ever happened to you, you can forget your child.

I give these examples because people will say, "Oh, that didn't happen to me, that didn't happen to me, OH, wait a minute, that has happened to me."

If you've ever forgotten your cellphone, your pager, your wallet, your keys, your sunglasses, and you swear you know where you put them but they are not there, and you find them in a completely different location, you can accidentally forget your child.

Do you think these examples you've found out about and this research has helped you forgive yourself?

Well ... that's an interesting question. I don't feel like I need to forgive myself. I do acknowledge and have to deal with the responsibility of forgetting my son.

But I feel like parents that do this intentionally -- they leave their kids in the car and they go somewhere, like one parent, a veterinarian, she has to deal with the fact that she went into the house and got distracted on the phone and forgot her son was in the car. She has to deal with that. That to me is like I feel you have to ask for forgiveness.

But for me, when I got out of the car that day, my son was exactly where he was supposed to be.

What I have to come to terms with, and this is what is really hard for me -- because my son usually took his first bottle in the morning at the babysitter's. Because it was so cool that morning, at some point at time he woke up because he was hungry and was in the car by himself.

That's what I have to deal with -- not being there for him.

There's nothing to forgive, but I will be accountable, I am absolutely accountable for his death. That's what I have to deal with. Can you say that that's forgiveness or not forgiveness? I don't really know. But for me the problem is that I should have been the type of parent that knew  about these dangers and made sure there were steps in place to prevent that.

It sucks. It sucks every day.

It's something that you have to live with.

I'm accountable every day. I miss him every day. He would be 8 years old today. I'll never see him grow up. I'll never see him graduate from school. I'll never see his children.

How did your family move on? How did things work with you and your husband?

He was angry for awhile but not necessarily at me. He was angry because our son was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

Unbelievably he and I became stronger and talked about it and learned to work through it and he knew it was an accident. He knew I would never leave my children in the car, not even for a second.

It was hard for awhile to talk about him without crying. I do feel like it was a blessing in disguise that my husband was deployed except for coming home for the trial.

He was not home for any of that, so I feel like it was beneficial that he was out of the country so he didn't have to go through that.

How did you decide to try again, to have kids again?

Again, it's about love and trust. He knew I would never intentionally hurt one of our children and we just didn't not try.

The interesting thing that happened was he was going to be gone for a year and a half to Iraq. Originally it was just a year ... my husband is seven and a half years younger than me, so when I had Bryce I was 31, and so I wasn't getting any younger so to speak.

We knew he was going to be gone for a year, and we talked to a counselor, we talked to our pastor and said when is an appropriate time to grieve? When is an appropriate time to have another baby?

What our pastor said and what our counselors said was when you feel like you can, there's nothing wrong with trying. 

Bryce passed away in March. We ended up getting pregnant with Braiden in September/October, somewhere around in there.

We talked about it, and I asked him if he wanted to try, and I think that was part of the healing process -- that he was so willing to have children with me, even though we were hurting and we were grieving the loss of our son.

That for me was the most telling part of it, that he forgave me.

I do think that Braiden's birth helped us to continue to heal because it pulled us away from the loss that we felt

By the time Braiden was born, had you been found not guilty?

Yes, the trial was only like three days.

You have different ways you talk to parents about recognizing they can be at risk, but what do you actually tell parents to DO?

The best tool that I can provide to them is to go to the Kids and Cars website, and what I tell them is to get in the habit of babyproofing your vehicles ...

Put a stuffed animal in the vehicle, and always, always, if you have one or 50 children, if there's a child in the car, put that animal up front with you or put something in the backseat that you're going to need when you get out of the car. I don't like that idea as much as the stuffed animal up front because you can forget your cellphone that you need and you remember 30 minutes later ... and you're in the same situation.

We've started a campaign called Look Before You Lock, so you ALWAYS get in the habit of opening the back door and looking before you lock the door.

How do you deal with the criticism and with being so public?

Because I made him a promise, and nobody can judge me more than I do myself. Nobody. It doesn't matter what they say, the harsh things. I've been told you need to be locked in a hot car and allowed to die the same way your son did, you need to have your uterus ripped out, you should never be allowed to have children again, the list goes on and on.

But none of them know me. They don't know anything about the type of person I am, what type of a mother I am.

If you don't know the type of person I am, how can you judge me?

Do you take extra steps to protect your kids from being left in a hot car? What do you do?

Images via © iStock.com/Kameleon007; iStock.com/Ekely

Hers is a story we've heard all too often. Back in March, Shereen Matera says she was told by an assistant manager to "cover up or leave" while breastfeeding her son at a Barnes & Noble in Nanuet, New York. Although it must have initially been all sorts of upsetting for Matera, she responded boldly -- suing the bookstore chain for mistreatment. Thankfully, she also got a ton of back-up!

After hearing about the incident, 15 other breastfeeding moms jumped to Matera's defense, joining her in a "nurse-in" at the store, to the disapproval of another store manager. Later, after Matera's complaint to the Barnes & Noble corporate office led nowhere, she went to the New York's Attorney General's office. And today, she's celebrating her settlement and victory in the case.

Earlier this week, Attorney General Eric Schneiderman announced that the book store must now offer more training for its workers. And in response, B&N says they support breastfeeding, will offer more training, and agreed to donate $10K to Rockland County's Breastfeeding Promotion and Support Program. Hey, it's a start ...

The bottom-line is that moms have a legal right in New York state to breastfeed their babies in any location -- covered or not. So, the fact that Matera had to endure any of this in the first place is truly aggravating. At least she took a stand, and in turn, the outcome -- seeing the store have to eat crow -- was the best it could be possibly be.

Still, it's proof we all have to keep fighting the good fight to support breastfeeding moms. And we can't back down until incidents like this are unheard of altogether.

What do you think can be done to make sure that incidents like these stop happening?

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A 9-week-old from Kansas is making international headlines today for her photo that has more than a few people raising their eyebrows ... Little Finley Widener appears in photos her mom, Angie Widener, posted to Facebook, snoozing away contently in her carseat during a visit to Tanganyika Wildlife Park in Goddard, Kansas. The only thing that's utterly out of the ordinary: Finley's sporting a lemur on her head. No kidding!

It's pretty much something you've just got to see to believe! Check it out.

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So wild! Literally! Apparently, you can't take strollers into the lemur exhibit, so Angie brought Finley in the carseat and set it on the ground. She was watching her two older daughters feed the animals when a stranger said, "Um, ma'am, there is a lemur on your baby." Agh!

Her reaction was pretty much the same as anyone's -- total shock. Thankfully, a zookeeper assured her that Finley was safe, so instead of flipping out, she laughed it off and took the photos, which have now gone crazy viral. Turns out, Finley slept through the whole "encounter" with the lemur.

While some tongues are wagging in response to the pics, it seems like all was perfectly well. In bizarro situations like this, where you're totally caught off-guard, you just do your best to keep your child safe -- and go with the flow! Seems like that's exactly what Angie did. Hence why the only reaction that makes sense to this kooky pic is a good, hearty laugh. 

What would you do if this happened to your baby?

Image via Jean/Flickr

When it comes to crying babies, fussy infants, or tantrumy toddlers, many parents reach for the path of least resistance: Technology. It's not exactly a surprise, being that, well, crying babies, fussy infants, and tantrumy toddlers can be really stressful and unpleasant to be around. But at the end of the day, the iPhone, iPad, or iWhatever can't hold a candle to good old fashioned human contact.

A Thai technology company called DTac recently released a video called "The Power of Love" that beautifully demonstrates how a parent's love, affection, and attention can trump a smartphone any day of the week.

Check out the heartwarming video and prepare to unplug tonight.

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Okay, so it's a little crazy that the dad didn't think to pick the baby up sooner, but the message still rings true: As often as possible, we should try to soothe our babies and toddlers ourselves, as opposed to sticking them in front of a glowing screen. Of course, there will be times when children do prefer TV shows or FaceTime to Mom and Dad, but, in general, they really just want the latter. And we should make it a habit to resort to that first.

Are you a bad mom or dad for giving your child some screen time here and there? Of course not. But, please, don't ever think it can replace human contact. Because, ultimately, nothing can.

Do you let your child use technology?

Image via dtac feel good/YouTube

Congratulations are in order for Jenni “JWoww” Farley and fiancé Roger Mathews! One of our favorite Jersey Shore stars gave birth to a baby girl today. At 7 pounds, 13 ounces, she’s a healthy little peanut with an amazingly interesting, pretty, and totally exotic name that we just love!

Jenni and Roger named their sweet baby Meilani Alexandra. I adore it! I swear, if I ever have another baby girl, I’m stealing this name and moving to Hawaii, because it sounds perfect for an island princess. JWoww’s representative told E! Online that Meilani is ready to trade her baby bottle for barbells and that the reality TV star is looking forward to introducing her little girl to BFF Snooki’s baby girl when she gives birth in a few months.

I’m so happy for Jenni and Roger! We know she had a heck of a difficult pregnancy that involved morning sickness and a weight gain she didn’t exactly embrace. I distinctly remember feeling a sense of relief -- both physically and emotionally -- the second after I gave birth and I bet JWoww felt the same thing. I predict she and Roger are going to be amazing, caring, and surprisingly strict parents.

Just check out the adorable message Roger posted on Twitter today:

I cannot wait to see pics of JWoww, Snooki, and their little girls taking long walks down the Jersey Shore boardwalk. Love these two folks -- congrats, guys!

Do you like the name Meilani Alexandra?

Image via JWoww/Twitter

As a mom who's brought her baby to questionable venues from bars to New Year's Eve parties, I'm not one to judge where mothers bring their kids. That's why I was dismayed to hear that a breastfeeding mom with a 4-month-old baby strapped to her chest says she was kicked out of a Brad Paisleyconcert in San Diego last Thursday, with police arguing that she was endangering her child.

The mom, who'd identified herself as Megan Christopherson, 30, filmed her altercation with the cops on her phone (some footage below). First, she claims a security guard approached her and asked her to stop breastfeeding.

Then, later on, while she was down in the concert pit, guards approached her again and asked her to move out of the pit, since they feared her 4-month-old girl, Gracie, could be crushed in the surging crowd or have her eardrums damaged by the noise.

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Christopherson argued that her baby was fine -- in fact, fast asleep, which suggests the noise in the pit wasn't bothering her. When given the option of moving to a seat farther away from the concert stage or getting a refund and leaving, the mom trounced out.

Should moms take their babies to concerts? Can we be trusted to make that decision for our kids and know when the music's too loud, the circumstances too dangerous? In my mind the answer is yes, within reason.

For instance, if it were a mosh pit for Megadeth where people were eating live rats, I'd, of course, pass. Or if my baby started crying from the noise or commotion, I'd leave then too. But these are decisions any mom of sound mind would make.

More from The Stir: 'Teen Mom' Kailyn Lowry Shares Shocking Breastfeeding Photo With Fans

Besides, babysitters are expensive, and no mom should have to sit at home until her kids are grown. That's just a recipe for a miserable motherhood, which won't do her children any good. One of my friends is a professional musician, and she's been taking her daughters to concerts since she was born. "I was much more horrified by the noise levels at a Yo Gabba Gabba concert," she points out. "It was way louder and more dangerous than any adult punk rock concert I'd been to in my life."

In other words: give moms a break and let them have some fun!

Would you take your baby to a rock concert? Why or why not?

Image © Ted Horowitz/Corbis

Moms have heard countless recommendations related to infant sleeping risks, but new studies keep coming out warning parents again and again. The latest, which looked at 8,207 cases of infant deaths during sleep and was published in Pediatrics, concluded that even when parents take steps to remove unsafe items from their bed, bed-sharing -- also referred to as co-sleeping or sleep-sharing -- remains a risk factor for SIDS and other sleep-related causes of infant deaths (such as accidental suffocation and strangulation). In fact, 69 percent of all deaths occurred while infants were bed-sharing.

The lead author of the study, Jeffrey Colvin, a pediatrician at Children's Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City, Missouri, tells USA Today that so many of the deaths in the study were "in the context of bed sharing" and "there were no other objects in the bed that would have made an additional risk." In other words, he says that it's "impossible" to make co-sleeping safe.

And while bed-sharing was found to be the greatest risk for babies ages 4 months and younger, rolling into objects in the sleep area -- such as a blanket or pillow -- is the top risk factor for older babies (between the ages of 4 months and 1 year), the research found.

While this is troubling, it's also not exactly, well, new or something parents haven't heard before. The current AAP recommendations state that infants should sleep in the same room as the parents but not in the same bed, and on their back in a crib or bassinet and with no soft or loose bedding or objects. And yet, many parents forget about the risk of objects as a child gets older or determine that co-sleeping is best for their infant (the number of parents sharing a bed with their infants has doubled in the past two decades) anyway.

More From The Stir: 11 Mistakes Moms Make When They're Putting Baby to Bed

Sure, moms may feel sleeping with their little one is more convenient for feedings or because they value the soothing, bonding benefits of sleeping with their child. And there are ways to make co-sleeping safer -- by eliminating soft, loose bedding from the adult bed, for instance. But these repeated warnings, eerie statistics, and straightforward recommendations from respected experts are hard to ignore.

Of course mom should be given free reign to trust their guts and do what they feel is best for their babies more often than not, but perhaps there are cases where it's better to be safe than sorry. Maybe there are times parents have to admit that experts do know better. Considering just how unnerving these latest findings and warnings are -- and how they continue to be reiterated over and over again -- perhaps everyone would do well to take them more seriously.

How do you feel about these rules? Do you abide by them?

Image via Madjuszka/iStock

Now we've heard everything. A breastfeeding mother was kicked out of a pool the other day. But in a twist on an old story, Rebecaa Hough wasn't shamed for baring her naked breasts. She was warned that 10-month-old Max might vomit in the pool.

Hey, you know what they say about waiting to swim after eating! In fact, Hough was warned she shouldn't just leave the pool to nurse her baby, but that she then had to wait half an hour before returning Max to the pool.

Sounds an awful lot like someone was trying to skirt the laws protecting breastfeeding mothers, doesn't it? The incident occurred in the UK, after all, where nursing moms are protected under equality laws.

But is this something we really should be concerned about? Babies up and puking up all their breast milk? At 10 months?

Maybe at a few weeks old, when moms are still trying to figure out whether baby is crying because he's hungry or crying because he needs cuddles, whether he's sucking because he needs milk or sucking because it's comforting, this could be construed as a "problem." Many moms have overfed their babies in the early days because they're still trying to get a handle on their baby's cues.

More from The Stir: Disgusting Breastfeeding Images Are Important for Us All to See (PHOTOS)

Image via © iStock.com/markcarper

Finally! Fans of Kristin Cavallari can now get a glimpse of her 2-month-old cutie, Jaxon Wyatt -- and he was well worth the wait. The former Laguna Beach star and fashion designer gave subscribers of her app, um, aptly called Kristin Cavallari, a look at her new life as mommy to two boys (her son Camden is 1).

Oh. My. Goodness. Prepare yourself because he is the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Kristin introduced the smallest member of her family with the message, "Here is my precious little peanut," alongside this gorgeous photo:

He's so alert! And what a sweet, round little face! Honestly, he's just adorable.

And tell me Kristin isn't doing incredibly well? She doesn't seem the least bit frazzled about being a mom to two babies under age 2 and is instead embracing her summer off with football hubby Jay Cutler. On her app she glowed about being able to spend June and July visiting the zoo with Camden, cooking, working out, and learning how to adjust to being a family of four.

Good for her! I found the transition from one child to two incredibly difficult and spent far too much time worrying about dividing my attention equally between my children. It's not easy to stop what you're doing as a mommy and, like Kristin has done, take much-needed time out to exercise and just relax.

More from The Stir: Kristin Cavallari's Baby Name Is a Perfect Fit for Her Family

While it's possible that Kristin wanted her privacy at this time and kept Jax away from flashing bulbs because of this, I can't help but wonder if she, like millions of moms with two or more children, kind of forgot to post pics of Jax. You know how you take a gazillion photos of your first born and significantly fewer pictures of your second and then, like, three of your third, and so on?

We get it, Kristin!

Do you have more photos of your first child than your second?

Images via Kristin Cavallari/Instagram, Kristin Cavallari app

Ask any breastfeedingmom why nursing rocks, and she'll tell you "have boobs, will travel." So when it comes to taking a family vacation, a breastfeeding mama should have it all covered, right? Well, for the most part, yes! But if you're going to be taking an airplane somewhere, and you're going to be nursing a baby while traveling, there are a few things you need to do beforehand.

Been too busy packing up the whole family for your next trip to really pay attention to what you'll need to do to breastfeed on an airplane? Don't worry, the experts have you covered.

1. Buy your tickets wisely. You can breastfeed anywhere on an airplane, but Diane L. Spatz, a professor at the PENN University of Pennsylvania School of Nursing, suggests booking a bulkhead seat if possible. These are the seats located right where the airline separates its "classes," and typically there is more legroom for mom to get good and comfy.

Bulkhead already booked?

Corky Harvey, co-founder of The Pump Station & Nurtury, tells moms who want a little bit of privacy to book a window seat. "I can turn toward the window while the baby latches and then relax back into my seat," she explains.

2. Talk to the flight attendants when boarding. "I am always much happier to be on a plane with a breastfeeding mom! Breastfeeding is so much easier, and babies are so much happier when they are breastfed," says Spatz, a member of the Association of Women's Health, Obstetric, and Neonatal Nurses. That being said, there have been instances in the news of moms being hassled for nursing on airplanes, so Spatz suggests speaking up beforehand.

"Some uninformed people may not be comfortable with a mother breastfeeding on an airplane because they have not been exposed to breastfeeding at all," she notes.

Fortunately, most airlines support breastfeeding, and you have that to your advantage. Not to mention, public breastfeeding in the air is covered by state protections for nursing moms.

3. Wear loose, comfy clothing. For your sake -- and baby's -- wear something that will make for a fast and easy latch. The faster you can get situated, the faster your baby will settle down ... and you won't be "that" mom of "that" baby on the airplane.

4. Nurse on take-off and landing -- if baby's awake. "[It] causes the baby to swallow," Harvey explains. A registered nurse and lactation consultant, Harvey says swallowing "will help equalize the pressure in the ear and decrease the chance the baby will experience ear pain."

But don't force baby awake just to nurse during these times. If they're able to sleep through, they're likely not in pain. Let a sleeping baby sleep!

5. Check TSA breast milk guidelines. If you're pumping, the TSA will allow you to bring only a small amount of breast milk through security, and there are screening procedures required. If you don't want your milk X-rayed, you must say so before screening begins. Knowing your rights -- and the rules -- can help you get through security faster.

More from The Stir: Flying With Baby: 5 Tips for Packing an Efficient, Lightweight Carry-On

6. Pump before you board! That is, if you're pumping. Relieving your engorged breasts will make you more comfortable, but if the flight is over three hours, you will likely have to pump again (or nurse), Spatz warns.

If you plan to do so on board, check well in advance to see if your flight has electrical outlets. If not, Spatz suggests purchasing a battery pack for your pump.

7. Bring wipes or extra pump partsand hand sanitizer. "Recent tests have shown that the drinking water in one in 10 airplanes is contaminated by coliform," Harvey warns.

Freaked out? You should be!

According to Harvey, coliform is a broad class of bacteria that is in the environment, including the feces of humans. And if it's there, e. coli may be too.

So you'll want to avoid cleaning your breast pump in the airplane bathroom. Instead some manufacturers make pump wipes that you can bring along -- or you can bring parts to switch out.

And even if you're not pumping, you're going to want to use hand sanitizer on your hands before you touch baby.

What are your best tips for breastfeeding on an airplane?

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