It's dinner time! Your baby is strapped into her high chair and ready to chow down. But as soon you try the old airplane maneuver to convince her to open the hatch, she gives you the old head-turn ("no, thanks"). Or she tries one bite (yay!), then spits it out and flips that rice cereal onto the floor (boo!). Of course, you're tempted to throw in the towel -- that is, after cleaning up the mess with it -- but you know your baby has to eat. Not to worry, mealtime doesn't have to be so stressful with these tips for getting your baby to eat (no airplanes involved).

1. Sweeten the deal. "A good trick is to place food on a spoon and add the sweet taste of either fruit or yogurt to the tip of the spoon," says Schnia Roseberry, founder of DrNanny.org. Why? Because babies have sweet tooths, even more so than adults. Or if your baby balks at downing something healthy but bland like pureed kale, combine with a sweeter fruit like pureed banana or applesauce, suggests Ruth Yaron, author of the best-selling book Super Baby Food.

2. Sneak attack. If you're trying to introduce healthy foods and it's not going well, try this approach. "Prepare a half portion of your baby's favorite food alongside a half portion of the food you are trying to introduce," says Jess Miller, a nanny of 14 years who writes a guide for feeding babies at BabyPit.com. "Place them in the same bowl but keep them separate. Feed a spoonful of your baby's favorite and then alternate with the new introduction. Repeat until baby is full."

3. Let baby feed himself. "It always amazed me how effective this method is, particularly among strong-willed babies," says Miller. "Simply buy some easy to hold baby cutlery and put a bowl in front of them and watch in amazement as your baby eats foods you had no success with before." Just one thing: Prepare for mess. "Maybe prepare a second portion of food just in case this one gets sent tumbling to the floor," Miller adds.

More from The Stir: Stop Spoon Feeding Your Baby & Life Will Be So Much Easier

4. Be creative. Presenting the food to your baby in a more appealing manner is another way to get baby to chow down on food. For instance, "decorate your baby's plate in the shape of a face: curly carrot shavings for hair, half grapes for eyes, a blueberry for a nose," says Yaron. By associating the food with a fun object, your baby may be more inclined to let the food pass his lips.

5. Make it a game. "If you can associate food with fun, then half the battle of feeding a fussy baby is won," says Miller. "Play a game where food is the reward. Ask your baby to point at a household object or to make an animal noise. When he gets the answer correct, he gets a bite of your now delicious baby food."

6. Let your baby play with his food. "I know this goes against the advice your mother told you, but it seriously works," says Miller. "Let them smear it all over their plate, let them stack it into a tower. As long as the food eventually goes into your baby's mouth, who cares about the journey it takes? All you need to do is be quick to reprimand if your baby starts throwing food or pushing it onto the floor. This behavior is easily discouraged if addressed each time it occurs."

7. Don't engage in power struggles. "Keep offering new foods and don't be offended at refusals," says Yaron. "Remember to keep mealtimes pleasant and not to start any battles." Because food should be fun, and once it's not, feeding baby becomes that much harder.

8. Give up! If all else fails, maybe the problem isn't a picky eater, but a baby who is simply not ready to graduate to this new phase. "Some babies aren't ready to eat solids, so don't force it," says Roseberry. If your baby has already started eating solids but suddenly stopped or seems fussier than usual, it could be a sign that they are teething or maybe they're bored with the options (be sure to offer variety!). In either case, "if you notice signs of the baby being fussy, it's time for a break, no matter if the feeding was only 10 minutes," says Roseberry.

What are your tips for feeding a fussy baby solids?

Images © Brooke Fasani Auchincloss/Corbis; © iStock.com/PicturePartners

Get ready to hate me. Or steal my husband. Or think I’m the worst mother in the whole wide world. Or maybe you’ll admire my ingenuity!

I am a miser of my sleep. I don’t do well when I’m tired. I get really cranky and tend to take it out on the closest person -- who would be my dear, sweet husband. He certainly doesn’t deserve it, so I always say our arrangement was made for his own good.

When I was pregnant, I slept like a log. I won’t say I slept like a baby because, as anyone who has a baby knows, that’s the world’s worst analogy! I think my biggest fear during pregnancy was what was going to become of my precious sleep.

But, as fate would have it, for many different reasons, I didn’t breastfeed. Despite all the fretting, it ended up working out just fine. I’m a rule-follower, so when I learned that a formula-fed baby could last three to four hours between meals, I made sure she did. My baby was on a perfect little schedule after about three weeks.

Hate me yet? Keep reading.

My husband, who was a great hands-on dad from day one (as a matter of fact, he was the one who changed the very first diaper -- and insisted on using Huggies® -- but that’s another story!), loved feeding the baby. He also requires about half the amount of sleep I do, so I devised a perfect plan.

I fed the baby at 10 p.m. and went right to bed afterward. I slept until she cried at 2 a.m. (like clockwork!) and got up and fed her. I was able to fall right back to sleep and some mornings even thought, Hmm, did she even wake up last night? My husband would do the 6 a.m. feeding, allowing me to sleep until 8 or even 9 o’clock in the morning!

His work day started late and ended late so he was able to spend lots of time playing with the baby in the morning. Since he rarely made it home for dinner, morning became cherished daddy-and-baby time.

This kept up as baby number one turned into a toddler and baby number two came along. My husband has continued to be the morning guy, giving the kids bonding time with their dad and giving me a good night’s sleep.

Now, I know not everyone is as lucky as I am on the sleep front. Some moms are so uncomfortable or anxious during their pregnancy that they are sleep deprived even before the baby is born. But you don’t have to resign yourself to a sleepless fate. Check out these great Getting a Good Night’s Sleep tips I found on CafeMom.com. Then go take a nap!

Because as we all know, a well-adjusted family begins with a well-rested mother!

How did you handle your lack of sleep once your baby was born?

Image © iStock.com/aabejon

While most moms know that burping is a necessity for bottle-fed babies, breastfed babies typically don't need to be burped as often ... or even at all. This is because "babies don't tend to swallow air while breastfeeding like those who are bottle-fed," says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician in New York. This means that little or no air gets trapped in the baby's stomach, which can cause tummy pain that can be relieved when that air is released -- with a burp. That said, it doesn't mean that a breastfed baby's feeding is always airtight -- and there are times when a good burping is in order.

Breastfed babies who get distracted while nursing, those who are half-hearted suckers, and those who take a while to latch onto the breast are all likely to need a good burp to help get air out of their tummies. The good news for new moms? Your baby will likely let you know if she needs to be burped.

If your baby seems excessively fussy after breastfeeding, take that as a sign. "One of the indicators babies need to be burped is if they arch their backs -- a sign of reflux -- or squirm and grimace and act very uncomfortable after feeding," says Dr. Wu. "Sometimes they may even act like they're hungry but refuse to eat. At that point, try to burp baby. And if baby's face becomes serene or falls asleep thereafter, then you'll know that's what that grimace was about."

More from The Stir: The Ultimate Guide to Breastfeeding

Some moms make it a point to burp their babies every time they switch breasts. At the very least, burping will help prevent babies from getting gassy in the first place. "The pause and the change of position alone will slow her gulping and reduce the amount of air she takes in," explains Lauren de la Rosa, a baby feeding and nutrition expert at NurturMe.com.

While it's fine to just burp a breastfeeding baby when necessary -- i.e., you spot signs of discomfort -- if your breastfed baby is occasionally given a bottle, you should adjust your approach at those times. During bottle feedings, make burping a priority, with a pause from feeding every few minutes to release any intake of air.

For more information, check out Dr. Wu's video on how to burp a baby: 

See this video on The Stir by CafeMom.

Does your breastfed baby need to be burped?

Image © Wavebreak Media LTD/Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis

A new study coming out of the University of California at Davis MIND Institute is showing that treatment and therapy can eliminate developmental delays for children with early signs of autism. So is that good news? Maybe! But before you start hailing the successes of the study, it's important to consider so many more factors.

The researchers at UC Davis tested out a pilot therapy program on seven babies, ages 6 to 9 months, who were showing early signs of autism. The kids' parents worked on a treatment plan with them at home, and researchers followed the children until their third birthday, when they discovered that six of the seven kids had caught up in all of their learning and language skills. By 3, those kids had neither autism nor a developmental delay.

It's being hailed across the Internet this week, but come on. Seven kids do not a ground-breaking study make.

It's a bit of an understatement to say that autism has become a controversial topic. From causes to treatments to cures (and whether or not it can or SHOULD be "cured"), parents and doctors have debated the gamut. Now we have this study being thrown at us that claims to give parents the tools to make autism "disappear."

The results may be promising, and the six children who seemed to have made positive progress is a good thing. But a six in seven number just doesn't seem to be enough to call it a full "success." We need science to provide more of a basis for the study before any parent can really form a qualified opinion.

Which begs the question: why are these sort of minute studies bandied about, anyway? There's so little that can be drawn from them. Certainly not enough to support headlines like "Study: Autism Signs in Babies Can Be Erased" or "Can Early Intervention Reverse Autism?"

We need more conclusive data and bigger and further ranging studies before we can address something as serious as autism. We need good, hard facts that don't send parents off half-cocked.

True, early intervention has been shown to be helpful to kids on the spectrum (and kids with a range of other issues), so this study may be headed somewhere promising. The researchers are starting to work on expanding this specific program and getting more families involved in the testing. They're sourcing for funds and more participation to really gauge the triumph.

But until we hear that scientists worked with more kids than your typical AYSO team fields for a soccer game, parents would be wise not to get too worked up about "reversing" autism.

What do you make of the study's results?

Image © iStock.com/CareyHope

The first time you hear about nipple shields, your first thought may be "nipple what?" but don't knock it until you try it. The small silicone cups can be a godsend for many a breastfeeding mom.

Made to fit over the nipple and areola with tiny holes for the milk to pass through, the nifty device "helps to keep the nipple extended so that the baby won't 'lose' it during a pause in sucking," says Brittany Welding at at MainLineDoulas.com.

That's crucial for babies who are struggling with a proper latch during nursing. Babies who are born premature are particularly prone to this, since they often can't produce a strong suction -- which is vital because it enables the baby to draw your nipple into its mouth and "stay attached" while breastfeeding.

More from The Stir:6 Common Breastfeeding Ailments & How to Treat Them

Moms who have inverted, flat, or dimpled nipples that no baby can easily latch onto, or whose babies have grown accustomed to feeding from bottles -- due to a long stay in the NICU or otherwise -- can also benefit from a set of nipple shields. Since the device can provide a similar sensation in the baby's mouth, it can be a way to help moms transition from bottle to breast, explains Leigh Anne O'Connor, lactation consultant at LeighAnneOConnor.com.

Always had a good latch? You may still find yourself reaching for a nipple shield at some point. After all, "nipple shields can also be helpful for other uses, such as protecting cracked, bleeding nipples during feeding, allowing them to heal," says Lauren de la Rosa, a baby feeding and nutrition expert at NurturMe.com.

So now that you're sold on the device, here's the skinny on what nipple shields to buy and how to use them:

There are two different kinds of nipple shields: "regular" and "contact." "The difference is that the contact shield has a cut-out that allows for more skin to skin interaction," says Welding.

The shields also come in different sizes to fit your nipple and/or your baby's mouth, so make sure to not just grab the first one you spot. A lactation consultant can help you not only find one that suits you, but also help get the shield on the breast and get baby latched.

When putting the shield on, "it can be helpful to wet the edges of the shield with water or saliva so that it will stick to your skin," says Welding. "Flipping the edges up and then pulling the shield down over your nipple can help to draw the nipple into the shield. Place baby to the breast and tickle the side of his mouth with the pointy part of the shield to encourage him to take it into his mouth. Then nurse as usual."

Nursing with the shield may feel awkward at first, but don't worry; you likely won't be using it forever. "The goal is to use the shield as a temporary aid and eventually wean from it," Welding says. Ideally, that means just a few weeks with the shield.

A final piece of advice for moms from the experts:

"Speaking from personal experience, the biggest mistake I made was feeling like a failure at breastfeeding because of using a shield," says Welding, who used one with her first son until he was 3 months old, and is currently using one with her almost-5-month-old son.

"At first, I felt like I was doing something wrong because I needed this extra piece of equipment to get my baby to latch," she admits. "But I came to view it as an invaluable tool that enables my babies and me to enjoy our nursing relationship. Before we began using the shield, each feeding ended in tears, from myself and my little ones. With the shield, feedings are much smoother and my baby is thriving. It's okay to need a little help! I also liked to add in some humor, too -- I like to refer to my shield as my nipple sombrero." 

Did you use a nipple shield? What for?

Image © Image Source/Corbis

It is so bleeping hard to install car seats. Figuring out how to squeeze that hulking contraption into your car, then weave the seat belt through the proper holes, then loosen and tighten the straps ... it's enough to send any parent into a road rage even before they even stick their key in the ignition. That's why moms and dads will have a chuckle watching this video -- a public service announcement by the Toyota-sponsored safety campaign Buckle Up for Life, which portrays parent after parent struggling to install car seats, with hilarious results.

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Honestly now: What parent can't relate to this?! I, for one, can never remember if the seat belt goes over the chair or gets threaded through the back. And loosening and tightening the straps that should keep my daughter snug in her seat? A total mystery. My husband's thrown our car seat once or twice out of sheer frustration. I've tried to figure it out, given up, and started driving, praying I wouldn't crash.

More from The Stir: 10 Common Car Seat Mistakes Parents Make & How to Fix Them

That's the whole unfunny point of this campaign: 75 percent of car seats aren't properly installed, and car accidents are the leading cause of death for children aged 1 to 13. To address this problem in anticipation of Child Passenger Safety Week (September 14 to 20), Buckle Up for Life offers resources to help parents install a car seat right and travel safely.

Why are car seats so hard to install? Who knows. But let's face it ... if you're having a hard time, you're not alone.

What's the craziest thing you've done while trying to install your car seat?

Image © Patrik Giardino/Corbis

Babies aren't always born looking, er, exactly how we'd envisioned. Here's one example that's thrown many moms for a loop: their newbornhas breasts. Yes, it can happen -- to boys as well as girls.

Stranger still, your baby's nipples may even emit milk. Don't freak out yet. Thankfully there's a perfectly logical explanation for all this that doesn't involve going out and buying your baby a teeny tiny bra.

"It is not uncommon for newborns -- girls and boys -- to appear to have breast tissue," says Dr. Sara Connolly, a pediatrician at Bundoo.com. "But it is not a cause for concern. In fact, it has nothing to do with the baby at all."

So what's up? Turns out that when a mom is pregnant, her high hormone levels can also impact her baby in the womb. So while the estrogen and progesterone in her bloodstream are causing mom's breasts to balloon in size in preparation for childbirth, a little bit of those hormones can also seep through the placenta into the baby, causing breast growth there, too.

More from The Stir: 5 Warning Signs Every Newborn Should Come With

"There is no 'medicine' to treat the condition because it goes away on its own," explains Dr. Connolly. Once the baby is born, their exposure to mom's hormones stops; as a result, "the breast tissue will become less prominent over the course of a few weeks."

In the meantime, don't fret -- or, worse yet, poke and prod your baby's chest hoping to see signs of improvement.

"The mistake people make is repeatedly examining the nipples and breasts to check for size and milk," warns Dr. Connolly. Squeezing the nipple can not only be painful, but can lead to infection of the breast tissue. So even if you're stressed about it, leave your baby's boobs alone already! 

Did you newborn have breasts or any other puzzling appearance issues?

Image © Simone Becchetti/Corbis

Babies and bottles go together like Bert and Ernie ... which is why when the time comes to weanbaby off the bottle, kids can act as though you've ripped out their heart and served it for dinner. But it doesn't have to be that way; if you start weaning at the right time and throw in a few tricks and incentives, transitioning a baby from bottle to cup can be surprisingly smooth sailing.

With a little advice from the experts, your baby may be kicking the bottle before you know it. 

1. Reserve the bottle for mealtime. Step one to weaning is to prevent the bottle from becoming a transitional object in the first place, says Dr. Sara Connolly, a pediatrician at Bundoo.com. "That means the bottle should only be used for meals and not be carried around all day like a stuffed animal. When the baby sees the bottle as a functional object and not a security blanket, then it is much easier to part with it when it is time to wean. Never put a baby to bed with a bottle. It creates a very bad habit that is hard to break, is bad for the teeth, and can lead to increased ear infections."

2. Start early. As in 4 months old early. "At 4 months, baby's 'tongue thrust reflex' diminishes, so she can accept many more foreign objects (such as a cup)," says Dr. Cheryl Wu, a pediatrician in New York who recommends starting the sippy cup at that time. "Also her head control increases, so she won't choke on liquid that slowly dribbles into her mouth from a cup, rather than liquid produced by suction, which is coupled with the action of swallowing."

Since at this early stage baby is still learning how to wrangle a cup and can't grab it with both hands, "start off with a cup with two handles on each side, and a soft spout with slow flow," Wu advises. By about 6 months of age, babies can grasp that cup with both hands and can graduate to other models.

3. Introduce the cup as a toy. "Let's face it: we are all agitated when we are hungry," says Jill Vetstein, a certified infant and toddler teacher. When agitated, our coping mechanisms are compromised. It is unlikely that an agitated baby is going to easily make a change."

Instead, introduce the cup in non-stressful times such as play time rather than when they're hungry. "Start out by having it available to explore with out liquid in it," Vetstein suggests. A game of peekaboo or tickling baby with a cup will help your baby associate the cup with something positive."

More From The Stir: How to Choose & Use Baby Formula Safely

"Once your baby seems to like the cup, then introduce it during play with the liquid of choice in it, perhaps milk," says Vetstein. "Your baby will likely put it in his or her mouth during play. Your baby may be surprised by the fluid but will not mind as much because he or she has already gotten used to the smell of the cup and the feel of the cup in his hands. Once your baby is comfortable with the cup and has tasted the liquid without getting mad, then you can introduce it during feeding time. It's like your desensitizing your baby."

4. Ease them into it. Once the child is comfortable with a cup, replace one bottle feed with formula, breast milk, or milk (if they are over a year) in the cup.

"For example, if they are accustomed to drinking a 4-ounce bottle after a nap, change it to 4 ounces in a cup," says Connolly. "Continue to do this until all bottle meals are replaced by drinking from the cup." By about 12 months of age, it's time to fully transition the baby from the bottle to the cup. "Baby may refuse for a little at first, but just keep offering the cup, and her milk intake should slowly increase up to what's normal for age," says Wu.

5. Experiment with liquids. Some babies will balk at drinking milk or formula out of a cup since they usually get that from a bottle. If so, try water in the cup instead. Or if your baby balks at water, try milk or formula, or this sneak attack by Jess Miller, a nanny of 14 years and writer at BabyPit.com: "Give your baby a bottle of half milk and half water alongside a sippy cup of undiluted milk," she says. "Make sure you try to give your baby a drink from the cup before handing over the bottle."

From there, Miller suggests gradually adding more water (and less milk) to the baby bottle until it is an almost flavorless mixture each day. "Eventually your baby will give up the flavorless milk and go for the delicious tasting undiluted milk in the cup. Once this happens, no longer give your baby the bottle," she says. 

Or just let your baby keep using his baby bottle, but rather than milk (or other favorite drink), only use the baby bottle for water. "With time your little one will associate the cup with tastier drinks and forgo the bottle altogether," Miller says.

More from The Stir: There Is Enormous Pressure to Stop Bottle-Feeding My Baby

6. Find sources of comfort for baby other than the bottle. If your toddler is over the age of 1 and stubbornly clings to his bottle despite your best efforts to wean, face facts: that bottle is a source of security. "They've learned that drinking out of the bottle equals comfort or sleepy time, and it induces a sense of well-being," explains Wu. "Parents must learn ways to replace this comfort measure." For a child over 1, try a lovey or a stuffed animal while drinking the bottle, and add in being rocked by Mom or Dad to associate the new transitional object with comfort. Then try taking the bottle away and see if the transitional object does the trick.

"This object can be anything the child becomes attached to," Wu adds. "One baby I treated wanted to hold onto individual packets of baby wipes whenever he got upset! Just make sure it's not a choking hazard."

7. Celebrate this milestone with rewards or a "weaning party." "For kids over 2 to 3 who can understand actions and consequences, it may be appropriate to set up a reward system," says Wu. "One idea is a sticker chart for every day that the child doesn't need the bottle to go to sleep, or small prizes for every night the child doesn't use the bottle all day."

Many parents have "weaning parties" where they ceremoniously throw out the bottles, give them to charity, or send a care package to a "poor baby" somewhere who doesn't have a bottle. "The stress here is that the child is now a 'big boy' or a 'big girl,' so it empowers and encourages them to want to give up the bottle on their own," says Wu.

How did you wean your baby off the bottle?

Images via © Tim Pannell/Corbis

One of my fondest memories as a new mom was wrapping my son up like a baby burrito when he got home from the hospital. I practiced the swaddling technique a lot under the watchful eye of a spunky, red-headed nurse with a take-no-prisoners attitude. She had a towering presence -- over 6 feet -- and literally stood over me until I got it right in my exhausted stupor. She was adamant that swaddling was "best for baby."

Which is exactly what makes it tough for moms when baby hates being swaddled. With everyone telling you to do it, you find yourself wondering if it's normal to have a baby who fights the blankets at every turn. Now for the good news ...

According to Ann Marie Schmersal, nurse practitioner in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Dayton Children's Hospital, a baby who hates to be swaddled is absolutely normal. Swaddling is recommended for newborns because it can be soothing as they transition to life out of the womb. It's a technique that has been used for centuries in many cultures, but that doesn't mean it's right for your baby.

"All babies are really different," says Schmersal. "Some like to be swaddled and others do not."

More From The Stir: How to Swaddle a Baby in 4 Easy Steps (PHOTOS)

Schmersal says moms shouldn't force the swaddle or think they're failures if their babies reject it (how hard are we on ourselves?). Here are some of her other tips:

1. Again, don't take it personally. It really comes down to individual preference. Your baby may fight it even if you're a rock star swaddler.  

2. Check your technique. If you really don't want to give up, here's a swaddle refresher: "Your infant should be swaddled in a light blanket with his arms in a flexed position (near his face and not at his sides)," says Schmersal. "Hips should be in a comfortable position and not swaddled too tightly so he cannot move. The swaddle should not come above chest level and there should not be any loose ends." 

3. Take a shortcut. Many moms prefer to use sleep sacks or swaddle sacks rather than blankets for swaddling. That's perfectly okay. You don't have to be amazing at baby origami if you buy a solution. Your baby may like the store-bought version better, too.

As for babies who are fighting the swaddle after weeks of happily sleeping into that burrito wrap, that's normal too. Many abandon the swaddle on their own between 2 and 4 months because they're more active and don't like it anymore.

If baby shows signs of rolling over, it's recommended you stop swaddling anyway -- as baby could end up stuck on his belly and suffocate.

Did your baby like to be swaddled?

Image via Jodi Meltzer

When my daughter turned 1, people assumed I'd celebrate with a birthday party. On the contrary: I did nothing for my daughter's first birthday. No gifts, no cake, no party. Nada.

Am I a monster? For the record, I did consider doing at least something to mark this occasion, until my husband pointed out the obvious.

"She's 1," he said. "She won't remember it."

I could see his point. The earliest birthday I vaguely remember from my childhood was at age 4, at a fast food restaurant with my nursery school class. I remember blue icing on a white cake, a "behind the scenes" tour of how French fries were made ... but that's it. Or maybe my mind fabricated those memories from photos I'd seen of the event years later.

Whatever the case, the fact remains that I have no memories, fabricated or otherwise, of any of my birthdays before my 4th. And so, it goes to reason that any birthday parties before the 4th -- 3, 2, definitely 1 -- would be a total wash. My daughter wouldn't remember one lick of it. So why drive myself nuts putting some elaborate celebration together?

I know plenty of parents who did just that. One mom I know pulled off a first birthday party that probably ate up more time and money than it took to plan my wedding. Did her 1-year-old care? Not in the slightest. In fact, she was terrified of all the fuss ... so then who, exactly, was this party for?

Let's get real: Birthday parties for 1-year-olds aren't for 1-year-olds. They're for moms. Period. If a mom can throw a great first birthday party, she can feel like she's a Good Mom, and if there are clowns and cake pops, maybe she's even a Great Mom Who Can Do It All.

If you're a mom who threw a big birthday party for your 1-year-old, hats off to you. But if you're a mom who wants to do little or nothing, don't feel guilty or give in to worries that you're being selfish, lazy, or inept. Maybe you share my feeling that kids' birthday parties have just spiraled way out of control. Between the goody bags and the "invite everyone in your kid's class" rule at schools, these parties have become an epic drain on time and finances that many modern-day moms can't afford.

Case in point: You know that mom I mentioned who threw that huge, wedding-level first birthday party for her kid? For her child's second birthday, she did nothing -- she was still burnt out from planning the first! So save your energy, mamas. You're going to need it soon enough.

Did you plan a big first birthday party for your child?

Image ©iStock.com/Vesivus

My mom said something to me while I was breastfeeding my son one afternoon that will stay with me forever. She was approaching the last stage of her valiant battle with ovarian cancer, and her eyes suddenly welled up, stung by a memory tucked away in her mind. "You know the way you feel about your baby?" she asked, while my son nursed away, perfectly content. "That's exactly how I feel about my baby."

It was then I truly understood the depth of her love for me, how instinctive it was, how unconditional. She felt this way about me? I thought, as I looked into my son's almond eyes. She let me know right and there what I felt as I nursed -- that innate connection, that rush of overwhelming love -- was what she felt. It's a moment in my life that I will always cherish.

More From The Stir: Incredible Images of Babies Being Born Give Us a Look at the Miracle of Birth

There's nothing like the bond between a mom and her baby, and the way a mom looks at her little one -- and vice versa -- during a nursing session is one of the most beautiful examples. Just check out these images caught by photographers of nursing moms.

There's no denying the bond between Mom and baby after looking at #8, is there?! What's your favorite memory of breastfeeding?

Image via Jen Conway Photography

Long before babies can walk or even crawl, they can jump -- with the help of a jumper, that is. Whether it's in a stationary, spring-loaded play center such as the ExerSaucer or those Bungee-cord style seats that hang from a door frame, it's fun to watch baby bounce around, and it's clear he's having a blast!

But before you put your baby in a jumper and let them play, there's a lot doctors want moms to know. 

For starters, make sure your child is ready to jump!

"Most infants are ready around age 4 to 6 months," says Bridget Boyd, MD, a pediatric safety expert and director of the newborn nursery at Loyola University Health System. "A child must have good head control and be able to support the trunk prior to use." Also make sure your baby is the right size to fit comfortably in the equipment: if baby's legs dangle above the floor or are so long they can't straighten up, he's either too small or too large for the jumper.

Next, choose your jumper model wisely. "It is not considered safe to place your child in doorway jumpers that suspend the seat from a doorway," warns Deena Blanchard, MD, a pediatrician at Premier Pediatrics NY.

One concern is that the straps or clamps on door jumpers can break and the baby can fall; there have been recalls on doorway jumpers due to this defect. Second, stronger babies have bounced so hard that they've ended up hitting the sides of the doorways with their heads. Ouch! 

More from The Stir: Are Toy Cellphones Bad for Kids?

If you're looking to mix it up a little and add some bouncing or upright time into your baby’s life, the safest way is to buy a stationary activity center where an enclosed seat is suspended on enclosed springs. But even then, parents should proceed with caution.

"As a pediatrician I tell parents they are okay in moderation, meaning 20 minutes per day, and not all at once, with supervision," says Harry Broome, MD, a physician from MVP Kids Care.

"Because babies tend to jump forcefully in these things, they do not learn slow controlled movements needed for walking," Dr. Broome explains. "Some research has been done that shows prolonged use actually delays walking. Some pediatricians also believe jumpers cause babies to learn a tip-toe pattern of movement, which leads to tip-toe walking."

Bottom line: As with most things in life, moderation is the key. Jumpers are not silent killers, but they also won't help babies to walk and could cause delays in that department. Still, as long as you keep bouncing to a minimum and check the safety of your jumper, it's fine to let your baby have a ball!

Did your baby love the jumper?

Image © Justin Paget/Corbis

“A happy mother equals a happy baby.” 

Or so they say.

That phrase used to signify how much care and consideration we had to provide for a mother as well as her newborn. It used to acknowledge the crippling role of postpartum depression and how we need a call to action to help the mothers suffering from this rather debilitating condition. It used to stand for the fact that a mother was critical to her baby’s well-being and only by being in good shape could she tend to the numerous needs of a newborn.

Today it seems to mean something different.

Today "happy mom, happy baby" is a euphemism for parent-centric parenting. (And that applies to dads too.) It represents leaving a young baby to cry-it-out because a mom wants her beauty sleep. It represents schedules that fit the mom’s life while ignoring the natural rhythm (and needs) of the baby. It represents the false idea that our lives should continue as they were before baby and that the onus of adaptation is on the baby and the baby alone.

It’s wrong.

Babies aren’t magically happy because their mothers are. Babies are happy when their needs have been met and they feel safe and secure. (Mothers who are suffering postpartum depression cannot do this. Thus, we need to make sure they have the opportunity to care for themselves so they can care for their babies.) However, moms who try to force their child into their pre-kid lifestyle aren't making their child feel safe and secure. We are parenting in ways that make life easier for us, but at what cost? The science is starting to provide some answers, and it’s not painting a very pretty picture.

Take the cry-it-out method of getting a baby to sleep through the night. Most people feel there's no risk, and that once a baby stops crying to sleep, there's no problem. Yet research is so scarce on this topic that we have no proof of harm or no harm. Researchers examined the effect of crying-it-out  on infant physiology and mother-infant synchrony (being “in tune” with your child, which is associated with secure attachment and later emotion regulation). By day 3 of crying-it-out, infants were no longer crying themselves to sleep and mothers reported feeling better, a fact confirmed by their lowered cortisol levels at night. Happy mother, happy baby, correct?

Sadly, what the researchers found was that the mother-infant synchrony was dampened to the point of being statistically non-significant. As for infant physiology, they may not have been crying, but their cortisol levels were still very high despite this failure to communicate this to their caregiver. (If you’re currently thinking, But wait! There was research showing no long-term problems from crying-it-out! I will correct you now in saying the research that supposedly found that found no such thing. Their methodology was such that really not much of anything could be said about anything.)

And consider this: Parent-centric parenting may not even bring joy to parents. A recent study found just the opposite -- the more child-centric a parent was, the more happiness and joy the parent reported. This is in line with other research that shows that caring for others over ourselves leads to the greatest happiness.

If mom-first parenting has the potential to hurt our children and doesn’t bring us any greater happiness, why do we repeat the mantra ... Happy mom, happy baby? It might have to do with our own upbringings. Just last month, researchers looked at the reasons mothers might respond sensitively or not to their child’s cries. Women who had positive childhood experiences and those who came to terms with any negative experiences were able to respond quickly, consistently, and warmly to their crying children. On the other hand, women who had negative experiences they did not come to terms with reported more mother-centric views of a crying child. These moms believed that the child was manipulating them and that crying was a nuisance. Thus, they failed to respond sensitively or in a timely manner to their children.

Not only is parent-centric parenting not making moms (or dads) happy, it's not making kids happy either. The rates of mentai disorders in children and adolescents are rising. College-age students have become less empathetic. And 40 percent of babies have been categorized as being insecurely attached. (It's hard for your child to develop secure attachment when mom's focused on her own happiness.)

We certainly are reaping what we sow, aren’t we?

It’s time to change. This starts with realizing that our babies need care, consideration, and responsiveness -- even when it doesn’t “suit” us. A happy parent is one thing, but it does not equal a happy baby. Both are happy when they are cared for, supported, and loved, and that requires parents to care for themselves while caring for their babies who cannot do it for themselves. It really is that simple. 

Images via Donnie Ray Jones/Flickr; Diamond Farah/Flickr

Breastfeeding can be hard work ... but breastfeeding after breast cancer is another level of difficulty entirely. Just ask Patty Evans, a 36-year-old mom of two who lives with her husband, Chuck, and their two kids in rural Bangor, Pennsylvania. Before being diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 28, the mother of 22-month-old daughter Darby and 6-month-old son Marlin had a vastly different life.

She was single and logging long hours as a financial analyst at a private equity firm near Philadelphia. Yet once she felt a lump in her right breast and learned she had stage II breast cancer, she knew that if she got through this alive, she'd want a job where she could help others (her oncologist, founder of BreastCancer.org, ended up hiring her as VP of finance for her nonprofit) and a slower pace of life so she could try to have a family. Even then she knew she wanted to breastfeed her kids.

"While I was open to using formula, I knew I'd want all the health benefits of breastfeeding for my baby, like the boost to their immunity," Evans recalls. "I also just felt that breastfeeding was something that as a woman you're capable of doing, so it's something I should at least try."

More from The Stir: I Didn't Tell My Kids I Had Breast Cancer

Yet very few breast cancer survivors ever manage to breastfeed: although no statistics exist on the percent who succeed, the very treatments they face make the odds seem pretty grim.

"Clearly, if you have a mastectomy, you can't breastfeed on that side, and this is often true with lumpectomies as well," Evans explains. "Meanwhile radiation destroys breast tissue. Women can't breastfeed while on Tamoxifen, which is typically taken for five years. It's also hard to get a proper mammogram while pregnant or breastfeeding, since your breasts become so dense. So you also have to delay screening as well, which can be dangerous."

Yet in spite of these hurdles and risks, Evans prevailed at breastfeeding both of her kids. Here's how she pulled it off, and the surprising benefits she reaped as a result.

What was it like for you to be diagnosed with breast cancer at 28? It must have been such a shock!
Completely. Breast cancer runs in my family so I always knew it was a possibility, but I figured it would happen down the line in my 50s, after I'd had a family. But at 28, I was dating a man but not yet engaged -- although he did hang in there and became my husband when I was 30. Next to my own survival, my biggest concern was that my cancer treatment could dampen my fertility and odds of conceiving. So I decided to freeze my eggs -- that way, if all went well, I could have them fertilized and implanted later when I was ready to have kids.

So how did your desire to have kids and breastfeed impact your treatment decisions?
The cancer was in my right breast and stage II, which meant it was contained within the breast and hadn't spread beyond that. Getting a mastectomy would have been the safest option for me, but I decided to get a lumpectomy instead, just to leave open the possibility of breastfeeding on that breast. It was a tough decision. My survival was of course the number one priority, but since I wanted to one day have a family, I wanted to leave open the option to breastfeed. And it turned out that in my case at least, the survival rates for a lumpectomy and mastectomy were equivalent enough. So I got a lumpectomy, followed by chemo, radiation on the right breast, and then the hormonal treatment tamoxifen for three years.

So did your breast cancer treatment impact your fertility?
Apparently not! Soon after my radiation treatments were over, my periods resumed, and I got pregnant naturally at the age of 33, without frozen eggs.

Wow! So how did your doctors feel about you breastfeeding?
All were very supportive. They said it would be good for my baby and also good for me, since new research suggests that breastfeeding can lower the odds of developing breast cancer by upwards of 10 percent. That said, my oncologist did make me aware that while I was pregnant and breastfeeding, I'd have to delay getting my yearly mammogram. I felt that would be OK since my goal was only to breastfeed for a few months, so combined with pregnancy that would mean I was only delaying my annual screening for a few months as well.

So how easy was breastfeeding for you at the beginning?
During my pregnancy and especially after the birth of our daughter Darby, I noticed that my left breast was swelling and leaking, but my right breast seemed dormant. When I tried to breastfeed or pump on that side, nothing came out. Apparently the cancer treatment had damaged the milk ducts in my right breast enough that it couldn't produce milk. So if I was going to breastfeed, it would all be up to my left breast to produce enough milk.

That sounds challenging! What did you do to boost your supply on that one side?
I pumped a lot, took fenugreek, drank tons of "mother's milk" herbal tea, and stayed really hydrated. I went on discussions boards online and read threads from cancer survivors about breastfeeding. Some were having great success -- after all, if a mom can nurse twins with two breasts, a mom can nurse one child with one -- but some women were still struggling. But overall, I'd say I encountered a lot of the same breastfeeding challenges as moms with two breasts, only it was worse since it was all on one side! My left nipple took a lot of wear and tear, and I couldn't switch.

More From The Stir: Tips for Breastfeeding When Only 1 Breast 'Works'

Ouch! How did you cope?
A nipple shield helped with the pain, as did steroid cream. But in the end, the doctors said that my daughter's urine looked concentrated and advised that I supplement with formula. That definitely took a bit of the pressure and anxiety off me so I could just enjoy the breastfeeding I could do.

So what was the experience of breastfeeding like, after all you'd been through?
It was kind of like everything had come full circle. I'd had this huge life crisis at a young age, but still managed to survive, get married, have kids, and breastfeed them. It was so worth it. I managed to nurse my daughter for three months. The one thing was since I had to delay my yearly mammogram, it was certainly nerve-wracking to wonder what was growing in there undetected.

The very day I stopped breastfeeding, I called to schedule my mammogram, which thankfully was clear. Once my son was born, I decided to breastfeed him too. Sure, it was challenging, but my daughter was thriving, so I wanted to have that same opportunity with him too.

Were there any other challenges you faced breastfeeding after breast cancer?
One funny thing was that I had very different sized breasts: my right was an A-cup, while my left was a C or D. So I got a silicone cookie to place on my right side to even them out. I also told myself, "Hey, you beat breast cancer and are lucky enough to have a family." When you do that, how you look becomes a lot less important.

What advice do you have for other women with breast cancer who may want to breastfeed later on?
Put your own health first. You have to make the best decision regarding surgery and treatment to protect your own life first and foremost. But if having a family and breastfeeding are important to you, women should know it is usually possible to have that, too. It's a balance. But also know that breastfeeding is good for you too, lowering the risk of breast cancer. So it's nice to know that by breastfeeding, you're doing something good for both for you and and your kids.

What obstacles did you have to overcome to breastfeed?

Image via Patty Evans

Laying baby down on the sofa may seem a lot easier than taking them all the way to their crib for a midday nap. But the latest news on baby sleep may change the way you handle nap time for good. A new study, published in the November issue of the journal Pediatrics, looked at infant deaths and found that a shocking number of babies are dying during their naps -- more specifically, dying when they nap on the couch. 

After looking into data from 2004 to 2012, researchers determined that 12 percent of infant deaths were sofa-related. That means that just about one in eight SIDS and infant sleep-related deaths occurs right there in the living room!

Throughout the eight years of research, scientists found that 1,024 deaths were attributed to the sofa. Infants who died sleeping on a couch were nearly twice as likely to die from suffocation or strangulation as babies who died sleeping elsewhere in the house.

But why are sofas so dangerous? The research showed that there are four main causes. Most often, infants were found to have either changed their entire sleep location or were found sleeping on their side. Other times, SIDS occurred because they were sharing the space with another person. And finally, prenatal tobacco exposure, which is already a predominant risk factor for SIDS, was linked to sofa sleeping.

More from The Stir: What to Say When Your Doctor Tells You Not to Co-Sleep

When all of those are compounded, the risk for SIDS is even higher.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends infants should sleep on firm and flat surfaces. Sofas, on the other hand, are the exact opposite of that. The fluffy cushions (which are great to recline on during family movie night) are often packed with pillows and blankets. And the rounded curves of the seating cushions (and the back ones too) mean that babies can easily roll into dangerous spaces. These can lead to breathing problems for babies, especially if they've rearranged their position or moved from their original place.

And if you thought that co-sleeping with your baby on the sofa was safer, it's not. A large portion of the deaths in the study occurred when babies were wedged between the cushion and another body, multiple cushions, or under an adult. No matter the form, it's all bad news.

So moms and dads, watch out! The crib is there for a reason. It may seem cozy to have the baby snooze on the couch, or to join them for a little siesta, but let this serve as a warning. A properly arranged crib really is the way to go.

Where does your baby take naps? 

Image © iStock.com/KristinaGreke

Breastfeeding may already feel like a full-time job ... so when babies ramp up the frequency even more -- say, they want to nurse every hour, or every half hour, or even non-stop for hours on end -- it can be hard. It might also make you worry that something's wrong -- like your milk supply is low or your baby is hungry or sick. But experts insist that this so-called cluster feeding, also called "bunch feeding," is entirely normal, annoying though it may be to have this baby barnacle on your boob.

The likely culprit? A growth spurt, which requires more milk. "Think of cluster feeding as a baby placing his order for milk," says Jennifer Lincoln, MD, an ob/gyn and lactation consultant at Bundoo, where parents can consult with doctors online. "When babies are going through a growth spurt, they require more milk. In order to communicate this to their mother, they cluster feed. This tells the breasts that more milk is needed, and within a few days, voila: production increases and baby gets exactly what he asked for!"

And don't worry -- your baby is not starving. "When cluster feeding happens, the worst thing a mother can do is assume that she isn't making enough milk and her baby is hungry," Dr. Lincoln warns. "This can lead to unnecessary formula supplementation, which keeps that milk supply from increasing -- which was the whole point of cluster feeding!"

More from The Stir: Why Babies Stop Breastfeeding Suddenly & What Moms Should Do

If you want to be doubly sure your baby is getting enough breast milk, count the number of dirty diapers. "Younger babies should have four to five very wet diapers and three to five poopie diapers a day," says Leigh Anne O'Connor, a lactation consultant and blogger at mamamilkandme. "In an older baby you should continue to see plenty of wet diapers, but the stooling may slow down to even going a few days without."

Also rest assured that cluster feeding rarely lasts long. "Usually growth spurts last just one or two days," says Margie Kay, a lactation consultant at Mercy Medical Center. Some babies also cluster feed in the late afternoon or evening in response to circadian rhythms. But there is an upside here too: Baby may be trying to "tank up" for a long sleep (ahhh).

Bottom line: Cluster feeding is nothing to worry about, and parents should trust that their baby knows what he/she needs. "Babies are smart and are good at regulating their intake if they are listened to," says O'Connor. So try to take the nonstop nursing in stride. Or as Dr. Lincoln suggests, "consider cluster feeds a perfect time to start that new book or speed through a TV series!"

Did your baby cluster feed?

Images © A. Inden/Corbis; © iStock.com/hidesy

Babies can be finicky creatures, and one truly baffling way they may show this during breastfeeding is when they strongly prefer nursing on one breast over the other. As a mom, you may be sitting there scratching your head and spinning strange theories -- maybe the milk in one breast tastes better than the other? You might also be worried since the more you indulge your baby's preference, the more lopsided your boobs become as one boob becomes solely responsible for pumping out all the milk!

Is it normal for a baby to always nurse off of just one breast?

More from The Stir: Tips for Breastfeeding When Only 1 Breast 'Works'

Turns out ... yes!

"It is very common for a mom or baby to be more comfortable to nurse from one side or another," says Kimi Suh, MD, a family medicine physician at Loyola University Health System.

Sometimes one breast produces more milk than the other, so that's the breast the baby favors. Even if your breasts start out producing about the same amount of milk, your own actions may set the wheels in motion for baby favoring one over the other.

"Babies, mine included, often have a side that seems more comfortable for them," explains Jenna LoGiudice, RN, a certified nurse midwife and professor at Fairfield University. "For myself and my patients, it's usually the side that we have a more comfortable position to hold them in that they begin to favor. Over time, that is the side we most likely start off on at each nursing session, and inevitably that breast becomes the better producer of milk."

From there, it can become a vicious cycle. The way to correct this problem? "Start off nursing on the side baby doesn't seem to prefer so that they suck the most actively on this side first," says LoGiudice. "Going to this side second only perpetuates the issue because the baby is already somewhat full and will have a lazier suck."

If your baby fusses or cries when placed first on the unfavored side, try to wait it out at least three to five minutes, alternating between holding the baby upright looking over your shoulder and then back down to the breast.

"If the baby is uninterested at this breast, smile at him or her and remain calm," LoGiudice adds. "As soon as you tense up, so does baby, and he or she is much less likely to latch -- it's incredible how they feed off of our emotions. You can also squeeze out a bit of milk onto the nipple to entice the baby to latch."

If attempts fail, go to the other side to breastfeed and then use a pump on the other side. "I often take a hands-free nursing bra and pump on that side while my daughter is nursing on her preferred side," says LoGiudice. And next time, remember to start again on that unfavored side; sooner or later, baby might warm up to it.

More from The Stir: Why Babies Stop Breastfeeding Suddenly & What Moms Should Do

If neither of these issues is the case, one other rare possibility is that your baby has a condition called torticollis. "This is a condition is similar to a stiff neck," explains Margie Kay, a lactation consultant at Mercy Medical Center. "Usually this can occur when baby is in utero and has found a position where the head is 'wedged' or turned so that after birth, baby prefers to turn to one side and may become fussy or unhappy when trying to turn to the opposite side." If you suspect this may be the case, check with a pediatrician, who will refer you to a physical therapist who can stretch and tone the neck muscles and resolve the issue. 

Whatever the reason, even if baby can never be convinced to nurse much off the less-favored breast, don't worry -- your boobs won't remain lopsided forever. "If breasts become uneven during nursing, they should return to their normal size after nursing is done," says Dr. Suh. In other words, your boobs will be back in shape in no time!

Did your baby prefer nursing on one breast over the other?

Image © Andria Patino/Corbis

If you gave birth in the spring or summer -- or you have a summer baby on the way -- listen up. Scientists are back looking at the way the season of your birth affects you, and they've got some bad news for parents of the kids born when it's warm and sunny out. They're going to be cranky!

Winter- and autumn-born kids, on the other hand? They're less prone to mood swings. Or so say researchers from Semmelweis University in Budapest, Hungary, who looked at some 400 people, the season in which they were born, and whether or not they had a mood disorder.

More From The Stir: 10 Surprising Facts About Babies Born During the Winter

The theory is that the timing of birth -- time of year anyway -- can affect how much dopamine and serotonin you have in your brain. Sometimes dubbed "happy chemicals," this is the stuff you need for a stable mood. But spring- and summer-borns just don't seem to have as much as their counterparts born when it's cold out -- which leads to mood swings.

Those born in autumn were called out as least likely to be depressed, while winter-borns were least likely to suffer from mood swings overall.

More From The Stir: 7 Surprising Scientific Facts About Fall Babies

Another big finding? These birth-driven effects often show up later in life rather than right after you're born!

So enjoy your sunny, happy baby now ... but watch out when they grow up!

What's your child's mood like? When were they born?

Image © iStock.com/Matfiej

New moms and dads are willing to bend over backward to keep their newborn safe ... yet a new study has found that the vast majority of parents are making a potentially fatal mistake before they even leave the hospital. How? With their infant car seat.

Researchers at the Oregon Health and Science University Hospital observed 267 families leaving the hospital with their newborns and found that 93 percent of parents make a critical mistake installing or positioning their infant in car seats. Only 7 percent got it right!

Considering car accidents are the leading cause of death among kids in the US, with recent statistics showing 650 children aged 12 and under dying and 148,000 injured per year, this is serious. For infants in particular, a car seat reduces the risk of mortality by 71 percent ... that is, if it's used according to manufacturers' instructions.

In an effort to help you embark on parenthood with the proper precautionary measures in place, here are the 9 most common mistakes parents are making when installing their infant car seat, and the solutions that will keep your little ones safe.

Did you do #3 with your car seat?

Images via NHTSA

At first glance, baby walkers may seem like a grand idea: long before a baby is even steady on his own feet, walkers enable him to zoom around with ease! And therein lies the problem -- increasing their locomotive abilities means babies can get themselves in a whole lot of trouble.

Think it's worth the trouble just so baby can zoom around? Think again.

"Walkers are very dangerous and should not be used," says Bridget Boyd, MD, a pediatric safety expert and director of the newborn nursery at Loyola University Health System. "There are multiple safety concerns that range from falling down stairs to knocking over objects that could result in injury."

From 1973 to 1998, walkers were linked to 34 infant deaths and, in 1999, led to hospital visits in 8,800 children younger than 15 months. In 1997, the safety watchdog ASTM International tried to address the issues with new voluntary manufacturing standards that called for walkers to be wider than a 36-inch doorway or have a braking mechanism designed to stop the walker if the wheels drop off a riding surface, like at the top of a stairway.

But those standards don't go far enough according to many child safety experts. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a ban on all walkers.

More from The Stir: Putting Baby in a Jumper: Is It Safe?

Given the concerns, why are walkers still used by parents?

"Many believe walkers to be sort of a 'walking exerciser' that brings about walking faster," says Katy Bowman, author of Move Your DNA.

Yet studies suggest walkers may actually do more harm than good on that front. "Research suggests that children with walker experience reached sitting, crawling, and walking milestones later than no-walker controls," Bowman points out.

Bottom line? Baby walkers don't help your baby walk -- in fact, they delay those first steps and can be dangerous, too. All in all, the risks outweigh the benefits, and it's best to steer clear.

What toys does your baby play with most often?

Image via Consumer Products Safety Commission