Do you wake up in the morning, French-braid your daughter's hair, volunteer coach at your son's soccer match, feed them an organic, healthy lunch, and still manage to squeeze in a Pilates class, run your "dream business" on the side, and greet your husband with a kiss and yet another home-cooked meal once he's home from work? Yeah, right! The truth is many moms still strive to be perfect parents even when they know these sort of scenarios are but pie in the sky dreams. New research suggests that the huge gap between our ambitions and reality is making new mothers anxious and depressed.

Carrie Wendel-Hummell, a University of Kansas sociologist, says the anxiety and depression typically blamed on hormones after baby arrives might be something else entirely.

After conducting in-depth interviews with 47 new mothers and fathers who experienced mental health symptoms during pregnancy or after their child was born, she found that parents' idealized expectations could also throw our mental health for a loop. And it's not just moms. Dads are dealing with it too.

"These idealized expectations of parenthood, or super-parent pressures, were most prominent among educated, middle-class parents who often accustomed to success in their lives," says Wendel-Hummell. "They know that parenting is not easy, but in practice, it’s much more difficult than they envisioned. Their idealized expectations and consequential let-down contribute to their mental health symptoms."

More from The Stir: Failure to Breastfeed Sent Me Spiraling Into Depression

Worried whether the "super-parent" complex could be eating away at your peace of mind? Here are some signs you could be in danger of the issues Wendy-Hummell is talking about:

1. You planned to have kids at the "right" time. You held off on popping out babies until you got that promotion or your husband's business took off. Which is great -- as long as you don't assume that because you waited for that opportune time, you'll have an easier go raising kids.

"These parents tended to plan childbirth for a time that seemed perfect," says Wendel-Hummell. "But this can often led to a false sense of control -- that because they planned carefully, things will go as planned. The reality is that parenting an infant is less predictable and a more hands-on experience compared to many other roles."

2. You read a lot of parenting books. "Middle-class mothers, in particular, also read a lot of books and other materials to prepare for parenthood," Wendel-Hummell explains. "These books often have very strong ideas about what is the 'best' way to care for an infant. It can still help to have some resources and ideas available, but don’t take too much stock in any one approach and instead learn as you go."

3. You have rigid expectations on the "best" way to raise your child. Think "breast is best" and there's no way you'll feed your baby formula? Think attachment parenting 24/7 is the only way to raise a secure, confident kid? You could be setting yourself up for failure and a heavy dose of guilt.

"Parents sometimes believe that there are dire consequences for our children’s emotional and intellectual development if they, for example, cry 'too much' or are given formula," says Wendel-Hummell. "These unrealistic expectations set mothers up for failure and put the blame on mothers."

4. Dad is eager to be involved, but flummoxed on how. Wendel-Hummell's research showed dads tended not to internalize the pressure of being a super-parent the way moms do, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it.

"Fathers experienced confusion about their role and exactly what they should be doing," Wendel-Hummell says. "They know they want to be more hands-on and involved with their children than previous generations. But they are the first generation to embrace hands-on fathering so widely and find limited role models and little social support. Further, they still have intense bread-winning pressures. They also feel their new nurturing father roles are relatively ignored by employers, doctors, parenting experts, media, and family and friends." 

5. You feel guilty for not measuring up -- almost all the time. Nobody's perfect. Most of us can't live up to our absolute highest ideals. But even knowing that isn't always enough. 

"These deflated expectations led to feelings of failure or guilt," warns Wendel-Hummell, "thus contributing to postpartum depression and anxiety for many."

Her study found moms calling themselves "bad moms" for things as simple as not understanding why baby cried, having a baby who wasn't sleeping well, or not being able to breastfeed.

More from The Stir: Why You Should Feel Sorry for That 'Perfect' Mom

"In result, some parents felt like they had to hide their 'failures,'" Wendy-Hummell says, "or go to great extents to justify their parenting choices; otherwise, they would be judged as bad parents."

But you don't have to let yourself be felled by the super-parent complex. Get some help with the kids. Find supportive friends. Seek professional help. Or, if you think you can do it alone, simply revise your expectations. That's what Wendel-Hummell saw in her study -- parents accepting that you can be good parents without having to be perfect.

"They come to see that there are many different pathways and approaches to being an attentive and responsive parent, and that it's okay to let go of some of their earlier idealized expectations," she says.

And when all else fails ... remember to give yourself time to adjust to this new stage in life.

Do some of these symptoms feel eerily familiar? Which one? 

Image © Anna Peisl/Corbis

The first time you hear about nipple shields, your first thought may be "nipple what?" but don't knock it until you try it. The small silicone cups can be a godsend for many a breastfeeding mom.

Made to fit over the nipple and areola with tiny holes for the milk to pass through, the nifty device "helps to keep the nipple extended so that the baby won't 'lose' it during a pause in sucking," says Aliza Bancoff at MainLineDoulas.com.

That's crucial for babies who are struggling with a proper latch during nursing. Babies who are born premature are particularly prone to this, since they often can't produce a strong suction -- which is vital because it enables the baby to draw your nipple into its mouth and "stay attached" while breastfeeding.

More from The Stir:6 Common Breastfeeding Ailments & How to Treat Them

Moms who have inverted, flat, or dimpled nipples that no baby can easily latch onto, or whose babies have grown accustomed to feeding from bottles -- due to a long stay in the NICU or otherwise -- can also benefit from a set of nipple shields. Since the device can provide a similar sensation in the baby's mouth, it can be a way to help moms transition from bottle to breast, explains Leigh Anne O'Connor, lactation consultant at LeighAnneOConnor.com.

Always had a good latch? You may still find yourself reaching for a nipple shield at some point. After all, "nipple shields can also be helpful for other uses, such as protecting cracked, bleeding nipples during feeding, allowing them to heal," says Lauren de la Rosa, a baby feeding and nutrition expert at NurturMe.com.

So now that you're sold on the device, here's the skinny on what nipple shields to buy and how to use them:

There are two different kinds of nipple shields: "regular" and "contact." "The difference is that the contact shield has a cut-out that allows for more skin to skin interaction," says Bancoff.

The shields also come in different sizes to fit your nipple and/or your baby's mouth, so make sure to not just grab the first one you spot. A lactation consultant can help you not only find one that suits you, but also help get the shield on the breast and get baby latched.

When putting the shield on, "it can be helpful to wet the edges of the shield with water or saliva so that it will stick to your skin," says Bancoff. "Flipping the edges up and then pulling the shield down over your nipple can help to draw the nipple into the shield. Place baby to the breast and tickle the side of his mouth with the pointy part of the shield to encourage him to take it into his mouth. Then nurse as usual."

Nursing with the shield may feel awkward at first, but don't worry; you likely won't be using it forever. "The goal is to use the shield as a temporary aid and eventually wean from it," Bancoff says. Ideally, that means just a few weeks with the shield.

A final piece of advice for moms from the experts:

"Speaking from personal experience, the biggest mistake I made was feeling like a failure at breastfeeding because of using a shield," says Bancoff, who used one with her first son until he was 3 months old, and is currently using one with her almost-5-month-old son.

"At first, I felt like I was doing something wrong because I needed this extra piece of equipment to get my baby to latch," she admits. "But I came to view it as an invaluable tool that enables my babies and me to enjoy our nursing relationship. Before we began using the shield, each feeding ended in tears, from myself and my little ones. With the shield, feedings are much smoother and my baby is thriving. It's okay to need a little help! I also liked to add in some humor, too -- I like to refer to my shield as my nipple sombrero." 

Did you use a nipple shield? What for?

Image © Image Source/Corbis

It is so bleeping hard to install car seats. Figuring out how to squeeze that hulking contraption into your car, then weave the seat belt through the proper holes, then loosen and tighten the straps ... it's enough to send any parent into a road rage even before they even stick their key in the ignition. That's why moms and dads will have a chuckle watching this video -- a public service announcement by the Toyota-sponsored safety campaign Buckle Up for Life, which portrays parent after parent struggling to install car seats, with hilarious results.

[code][/code]

Honestly now: What parent can't relate to this?! I, for one, can never remember if the seat belt goes over the chair or gets threaded through the back. And loosening and tightening the straps that should keep my daughter snug in her seat? A total mystery. My husband's thrown our car seat once or twice out of sheer frustration. I've tried to figure it out, given up, and started driving, praying I wouldn't crash.

More from The Stir: 10 Common Car Seat Mistakes Parents Make & How to Fix Them

That's the whole unfunny point of this campaign: 75 percent of car seats aren't properly installed, and car accidents are the leading cause of death for children aged 1 to 13. To address this problem in anticipation of Child Passenger Safety Week (September 14 to 20), Buckle Up for Life offers resources to help parents install a car seat right and travel safely.

Why are car seats so hard to install? Who knows. But let's face it ... if you're having a hard time, you're not alone.

What's the craziest thing you've done while trying to install your car seat?

Image © Patrik Giardino/Corbis

Despite every advantage -- a breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician and hospital, access to an extensive network of lactation consultants, a loving husband, and a genuine desire to breastfeed -- Suzanne Barston struggled. Her son had a tongue tie and wouldn't latch. He was also diagnosed with a severe milk allergy despite her vegan diet.

Further complicating matters? Nerve damage in one of Suzanne's breasts made breastfeeding excruciatingly painful. And then there was her crippling postpartum depression (PPD) ... she had to deal with feelings of failure that she couldn't breastfeed through a haze of sadness.

She felt alone, so she started to write. Suzanne launched her Fearless Formula Feeder blog with the mantra Standing Up for Formula Feeders Without Being a Boob About It. And that changed her life.

Fast forward six years and two kids later and Suzanne is a sassy force to be reckoned with when it comes to formula feeders. Her book Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn't is a rallying cry for moms on both sides.

The Stir sat down with Suzanne Barston to talk about the strong feelings, stigmas, and stereotypes surrounding the always-heated breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding debate.

Are you against breastfeeding?
Hell no. I just became a Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC) because I want to help women breastfeed. I think breastfeeding is amazing.

What inspired you to start Fearless Formula Feeder?
I think there were two straws that broke our particular camel's back. First, I had PPD, which had a very early onset -- quite literally, right after delivery. I was mothering through a cloud of confusion and darkness, and my depression has always been tied to both my hormones and my body image, so it was sort of a powder keg from the start. But I still kept trying to breastfeed, and eventually I was exclusively pumping very successfully, which I figured I'd keep up as long as I could. And then we discovered that the reason my child had been a sleepless, miserable, rashy, bloody-diapered mess since day one was a severe milk allergy, and we tried a hypoallergenic formula, and it was ... magic. Within 12 hours, we had a happy, content, healthy baby. That was when I realized my desire to breastfeed -- or more accurately, my desire to do the "right" thing, was punishing him as well as me.  

And there I sat, with all these feelings of failure, and a ton of "knowledge" about breastfeeding and breastfed babies from my online baby groups and parenting classes and books, with absolutely no support or guidance for what our situation had ended up being. I tried researching bottle feeding techniques and all I came up with was foreboding, scolding essays on why I really should be breastfeeding. I was scared, angry, and feeling utterly alone, so I started blogging. The title of the blog was sort of ironic, but also hopeful -- because I wanted to be fearless. I wanted other parents who made the best choice for their families to feel confident and supported. Luckily, the more I learned about the politics and science of infant feeding, the more truly fearless I became. 

Did anyone ever give you a hard time for using formula?
Oh yes. We had a doctor who told me I should have kept breastfeeding, that it was my fault my child was allergic to milk (he ignored the medical record that clearly showed his health had improved and signs of allergy had disappeared right when we stopped breastfeeding). Another who told me it wouldn't matter which formula I used because they were all bad. I had several friends who were well-meaning, but made a point to clarify to anyone who'd listen that I'd "tried" to breastfeed, as if simply choosing to formula feed would've meant something negative, or tried to badger me about whether I'd breastfeed future children while I was still trying to worth through my feelings about my first experience.

Do you think formula is as healthy for babies as breast milk?
Breast milk is made for human babies, and nutritionally, I think breast milk is the best food for most babies. Not all, but most. It's kind of silly to try and argue against that, you know? But that doesn't mean that formula can't nourish a baby, nor does it necessarily follow that there will be repercussions because we "messed with nature." I do think our research is a bit lacking when it comes to comparing formula to pumped, frozen milk, or milk from a mother on specific medications or dietary restrictions. This is not to say that formula is "better," because there are many benefits to breastfeeding that have nothing to do with nutrition. The problem in speaking in superlatives and absolutes is that if you're relying on science, you need to see the full picture. I'd rather we skip the comparisons and just verify that kids can grow up healthy on either, and try and make sure both substances are as healthy as possible.

So do you think moms should try breastfeeding before choosing formula?
I think if a mom is on the fence, there's no harm in trying, because she can always go to formula. The reverse isn't as easy. I usually say, "breast is best until it isn't," because while it might be the best nutritional choice for most babies, it isn't always the best choice in a holistic sense (i.e., if the mother or infant is suffering because of it). And I've seen many, many moms go in thinking they will hate it and end up nursing for three years! But if a mom has a specific reason for not wanting to breastfeed, I would never suggest she at least "try." I trust her to know her own body, and her own mind. That's why unbiased, unemotional education is so essential -- we need to let parents know the research behind breastfeeding and formula, as well as the limitations of this research, so that they can perform their own risk/benefit analysis. Also, I never go into the conversation trying to "convince" a woman to do either -- I just listen to her, ask if she has questions, address her concerns, and support her in her decision, whatever that may be.

What's the biggest misconception about formula feeding you're trying to overcome with your advocacy work?
Gosh, do I have to choose one? I think the biggest misconception is that formula feeders would be breastfeeding if they just had "more" -- more education, more support, more stamina, more love for their children. I've spent nearly six years talking to women all over the world about formula feeding, and sure, there are a few I've encountered who could have used more support. But they do not lack love, or knowledge that breastfeeding is the preferred method of feeding a baby, or inner strength. They have all chosen (or had the choice made for them) to formula feed for complex, personal reasons, and we tend to ignore that in infant feeding research and discussion. Because no one stops to actually talk to the women who have "failed" to meet breastfeeding recommendations. Instead, they just talk for them, or about them, or at them. 

I'd also say that a big -- and important -- misconception is that we can learn all we need to from the back of a formula can. Why should we be getting what is essentially medical advice from a company that is selling us a product? Formula feeding can be safe and healthy, but it can also be dangerous when parents aren't given accurate guidance. Unlike breastfeeding, it isn't natural. Using powdered formula is like a mini chemistry experiment. One you're forced to do at 3 a.m., two days after you've given birth, when your milk hasn't come in yet and your baby is screaming and you're feeling panicked and guilty. We need better education and support for parents who use formula -- which, as statistics show us, is more than half of us who have babies under 3 months (even if we're just supplementing once or twice). 

How do you feel about the recent trend of formula being "banned" in hospitals?
I don't have a huge problem with banning formula sample bags, although I also don't think it's a big deal to just set them aside and only give them out upon request. But what I do worry about is that often, the only thing that passes as formula instruction or "education" comes from those same gift bags. Not that this is sufficient education, AT ALL -- but at least it was something, and the bags usually contained single-serve, sterile nursettes which are the most foolproof and safest option for newborns. I hope that when hospitals ban the bags, they are also handing out educational materials that give clear instructions about formula use, free from rhetoric or warnings. 

As for banning formula altogether, I haven't heard of that happening here, but there is a trend to "lock up" formula so that only doctors or head nurses can access it, or to at least make parents sign waivers or endure repeated "conversations" before dispensing the formula. One mom I spoke to said she was only given 2 oz. at a time, and had to have a lecture on the benefits of breastfeeding before she could get more -- each and every time she fed her infant. That's not okay. Babies shouldn't be given formula unless medically necessary, unless a parent requests it. There are two unless-es here, and we only are paying attention to one. That has to change. Otherwise, you are interfering with a woman's bodily autonomy.

You've said the way we feed our babies has come to define motherhood. How did this happen?
The short version is that for several decades, formula was seen as the best way to feed babies, and women were taught not to trust their bodies. Then a few formula companies did some awful things and people responded by trying to put them out of business and bring back breastfeeding. But we went too far in that direction, too, and once again women are taught not to trust themselves -- we are too fragile to defend our psyches from formula marketing; we need doctors and lactation professionals to teach us how to mother. This also happened in a time (1980s-present) when women were going back to work, gender roles were changing, and there was a big anti-science push (man made was bad, natural was good) going on simultaneously. We also saw the advent of the parenting "industry" -- so many experts, books, products, and of course the Internet played a role as well. But honestly, I think a large part of it is that parents feel lost. The world is a scary place. And when you feel like by breastfeeding, you can keep your child safe, and have the "experts" and your community tell you that you are doing the "best" thing, that is reassuring. Because as a new parent -- and especially a new mother -- you are floundering. Being a "breastfeeding mom" is a definition, something to hold onto when everything else seems out of your control.

More from The Stir: 10 Things Never to Say to a Formula-Feeding Mom

Do you think the "mom wars" surrounding this issue will ever end?
It depends what day you ask me! Last year, when we started #ISupportYou to compliment breastfeeding week, I felt really hopeful. Women we supporting each other and recognizing their common bonds -- it was sort of magical. And then we decided to sit out for World Breastfeeding Week (WBW) this year, because we got a lot of criticism from breastfeeding advocates that we were usurping their week. I feel now that it was a mistake -- because instead of feeling positive and having everyone supporting breastfeeding as the WBW intends, all we saw was anger, hurt, resentment, defensiveness. Negativity ended up usurping the week, instead of our campaign. I feel strongly that until we can stop seeing formula as a competitor to breast milk and realize that the end goal should be healthy babies and healthy parents, feeding their children in the healthiest way possible, we're going to see "mommy wars." Also, I want to point out that I don't necessarily see this as a "mommy war" as much as a messed-up situation that moms are reacting to. It would be a lot easier to talk about feeding babies calmly, without defensiveness, if we didn't have people tweeting that breastfeeding was gross, or moms being kicked out of stores for nursing their infants (or toddlers!), or public health campaigns that equate formula to cigarettes, or hospitals that made women sign forms stating they are making a deadly choice by choosing formula. I think most of us can learn to shut out the haters on Facebook, but those systemic issues are harder to fight.

What tips do you have for formula-feeding moms?

What would you say to critics who think that by supporting formula feeders you are discouraging breastfeeding?
I'd say that supporting formula feeders and supporting breastfeeding can and should be the same thing. We all need support -- just different kinds of support. I would never try and tell my friend who is breastfeeding her 3-year-old what kind of support she needs, because how could I possibly know? Same goes for critics saying that since we live in a bottle-dominant society, there's no need for formula feeding support. They have no idea, because they haven't lived it. That sort of us vs. them mentality is fruitless, because so many formula feeding moms started out as breastfeeding moms. Of course they support breastfeeding! Of course they want to ensure that their breastfeeding sisters can nurse without harassment! But when you're told by the people you're trying to support that you're the enemy, or that they feel sorry for you ... it gets hard to want to keep fighting. There is room for all of us at the table -- we just need to be more conscious about knocking each other's elbows. I would assume breastfeeding advocates who are of past generations can understand how it feels to be fighting against stereotypes, medical authorities, and the media. It's not easy. And we aren't the enemy. The woman sitting next to you at the mall feeding her baby a bottle is not the jerk who reports you to the security guard for public indecency. She isn't responsible for the atrocities committed by Nestle in the 1970s. She's just trying to feed her baby.

What are your hopes for both breast and formula feeders?
My hope is that breastfeeding moms and formula feeding moms can stop defining themselves as such. The labels need to stop altogether. Attachment parent. Crunchy mom. Peaceful parent. C-section mom. I mean, really? Is this what feminism did for us? Allow us to go around labeling ourselves based on how we birth or the parenting books we read? We are all so much more than this. We are mothers. We are also lovers and friends and spouses and professionals and sisters and daughters. How you feed your baby doesn't have to define you. If we got the support we all crave so badly, I believe we could come to a point where we just feed our babies the way we see fit and move on to more important things, like who we are as people, how we enjoy our lives, and how we are going to raise a generation that will do better than ours did in treating others with respect and empathy. 

Did you feel supported in your decision to breastfeed or formula feed?

Image via © Lisa B./Corbis

Finally, the brainiacs at MIT are addressing a real problem that desperately needs attention! They're hosting a "Make the Breast Pump Not Suck Hackathon" for engineers, designers, parents, public health researchers, and lactation consultants this weekend. 

Hallefreakinglujah!

I dreamed of torching my breast pump as a nod -- a fist-bump, if you will -- to my turkey baster nipples. They felt like they cooked for 12 hours in a 350-degree oven every single time I pumped. If the genius summit manages to improve even one aspect of the breast pump, I will give thanks. I may bow down ... or even stop calling them MIT geeks (yeah, I am so jealous I could never get in). Here, IQ champs, are seven udderly torturous breast pump problems you need to solve.

1. The ear-numbing sound of breast pumps makes our husbands' snoring sound like a tranquil yoga retreat in the rain forest. You have silencers on guns. How can you not figure out how to put the kibosh on a breast pump?

2. The suction cups that adhere to our nipples make us ripe and ready for an S&M chamber. Red, raw, bloody ... bring it, sex freaks. We survived much worse than your twisted fantasies pumping. Nipple clamps should not sound more appealing than feeding our babies.

3. Our self-worth is measured in ounces. We shell out serious cash trying to up our production ... and it doesn't help. Figure out a way to get the milk out of the depths of our breasts in a less serial killer-like way.

More from The Stir: Using a Breast Pump vs. Medieval Torture: Is There Really a Difference?

4. Breast pumps are libido-killers. It's not hot ... the way these torturous devices contort our nipples and squeeze our breasts. They serve as fire extinguishers for our husbands' penises (this may or may not be a benefit, depending mom's position on post-pregnancy sex). A little kindness will go a long way to endearing both sexes to the breast pump.

5. Breast pumps contain nine million pieces. They make us overtired, bleary-eyed moms actually read directions. They are beyond hard to maintain. As soon as we're done cleaning and tracking said parts, it is time to pump again. 

6. Figure out a way we can be comfy when we pump. Like a warm blanket for our boobies. Perhaps a soothing pumping soundtrack? You're smarter than us ... think about it. We need something to make it bearable. 

7. The pump makes breastfeeding a mooooooooooving experience. Moms morph into cows. We consider going vegan in solidarity. Please help us not feel like cows. We like ice cream and really don't want to give it up.

Thank you, in advance, for your cooperation regarding these mom matters.

What would you add to the list?

Image via © TYRONE SIU/Reuters/Corbis

Let's all rewind to last month when Pete Wentz welcomed his new baby boy and announced his name: Saint Lazslo Wentz. We've been scratching our heads ever since, trying to figure out why, oh why, did the Fall Out Boy rocker choose to go the holy route with his name choice. Lucky for us, Wentz has finally explained how he chose the baby name, and believe it or not, it's because Saint has already performed some miracles.

Wentz was finishing up his tour during the end of girlfriend Meagan Camper's pregnancy. And their one big wish was that their son wait until the shows were over to arrive, according to Wentz, who recently appeared on On Air With Ryan Seacrest. So when the baby boy did hold off his debut, it was nothing short of a miracle:

I was really sure we were going to have to cancel a show, or that he was going to show up, and he didn't. That's why Saint ended up happening, which will only be a problem, I feel, if he actually became a saint. That would be really weird.

Really? That would be the weird part?

Sigh.

It's hard not to roll your eyes at that explanation. Yes, thank you, Saint, for making sure that dad didn't miss any work. If that hasn't qualified the infant for sainthood, I don't know what else could do it.

Once we've finally wrapped our heads around this, one thing is painfully clear: this is just another example that, yes, celebrities are on a whole different level than us mere mortals. What may seem entirely strange and removed for us is maybe completely run-of-the-mill in Hollywood. Chances are, you won't find many Saints in Everywhere, USA, but celeb-land already has its first.

And thanks for not cutting Dad's tour short, kiddo. That, we actually really appreciate.

How did you choose your baby name?

For more baby name ideas and to find your perfect baby name, visit Baby Name Wizard.

Image via Bryan Bedder/Getty Images

Babies aren't always born looking, er, exactly how we'd envisioned. Here's one example that's thrown many moms for a loop: their newbornhas breasts. Yes, it can happen -- to boys as well as girls.

Stranger still, your baby's nipples may even emit milk. Don't freak out yet. Thankfully there's a perfectly logical explanation for all this that doesn't involve going out and buying your baby a teeny tiny bra.

"It is not uncommon for newborns -- girls and boys -- to appear to have breast tissue," says Dr. Sarah Connally, a pediatrician at Bundoo.com. "But it is not a cause for concern. In fact, it has nothing to do with the baby at all."

So what's up? Turns out that when a mom is pregnant, her high hormone levels can also impact her baby in the womb. So while the estrogen and progesterone in her bloodstream are causing mom's breasts to balloon in size in preparation for childbirth, a little bit of those hormones can also seep through the placenta into the baby, causing breast growth there, too.

More from The Stir: 5 Warning Signs Every Newborn Should Come With

"There is no 'medicine' to treat the condition because it goes away on its own," explains Connally. Once the baby is born, their exposure to mom's hormones stops; as a result, "the breast tissue will become less prominent over the course of a few weeks."

In the meantime, don't fret -- or, worse yet, poke and prod your baby's chest hoping to see signs of improvement.

"The mistake people make is repeatedly examining the nipples and breasts to check for size and milk," warns Connally. Squeezing the nipple can not only be painful, but can lead to infection of the breast tissue. So even if you're stressed about it, leave your baby's boobs alone already! 

Did you newborn have breasts or any other puzzling appearance issues?

Image © Simone Becchetti/Corbis

It's official, ladies. Ryan Goslingis a dad. Several sources confirm that Eva Mendes gave birth to the couple's first child, a daughter, on Friday, September 12. Congratulations to the couple and even more kudos for keeping the arrival secret for the past couple days.

Then again, the couple has always managed to keep their private life, well, private. Eva and Ryan have been majorly secretive about not only their relationship, but also the pregnancy. So much so that the couple never even confirmed they were expecting. Eva has essentially remained in hiding for the past several months, but reports and rumors about their latest addition have been flying.

But it looks like all signs of baby point to yes!

More From The Stir: 'Attachment Parenting Ryan Gosling' Loves Breastfeeding, Slings, Co-Sleeping & More (PHOTOS)

We're still waiting on a baby name, which the celebs have yet to release. We suppose we'll just have to wait for the public announcement from the new parents ... if there will ever be one.

For now, all we can do is hold out hope for some adorable pictures of Ryan carrying around his little girl. What's hotter than a hot guy? A hot DAD!

Congratulations to Eva and Ryan!

What kind of name do you think they chose for their daughter?

Image via Sonia Recchia/Getty Images

Babies and bottles go together like Bert and Ernie ... which is why when the time comes to weanbaby off the bottle, kids can act as though you've ripped out their heart and served it for dinner. But it doesn't have to be that way; if you start weaning at the right time and throw in a few tricks and incentives, transitioning a baby from bottle to cup can be surprisingly smooth sailing.

With a little advice from the experts, your baby may be kicking the bottle before you know it. 

1. Reserve the bottle for mealtime. Step one to weaning is to prevent the bottle from becoming a transitional object in the first place, says Dr. Sara Connolly, a pediatrician at Bundoo.com. "That means the bottle should only be used for meals and not be carried around all day like a stuffed animal. When the baby sees the bottle as a functional object and not a security blanket, then it is much easier to part with it when it is time to wean. Never put a baby to bed with a bottle. It creates a very bad habit that is hard to break, is bad for the teeth, and can lead to increased ear infections."

2. Start early. As in 4 months old early. "At 4 months, baby's 'tongue thrust reflex' diminishes, so she can accept many more foreign objects (such as a cup)," says Dr. Cheryl Wu, a pediatrician in New York who recommends starting the sippy cup at that time. "Also her head control increases, so she won't choke on liquid that slowly dribbles into her mouth from a cup, rather than liquid produced by suction, which is coupled with the action of swallowing."

Since at this early stage baby is still learning how to wrangle a cup and can't grab it with both hands, "start off with a cup with two handles on each side, and a soft spout with slow flow," Wu advises. By about 6 months of age, babies can grasp that cup with both hands and can graduate to other models.

3. Introduce the cup as a toy. "Let's face it: we are all agitated when we are hungry," says Jill Vetstein, a certified infant and toddler teacher. When agitated, our coping mechanisms are compromised. It is unlikely that an agitated baby is going to easily make a change."

Instead, introduce the cup in non-stressful times such as play time rather than when they're hungry. "Start out by having it available to explore with out liquid in it," Vetstein suggests. A game of peekaboo or tickling baby with a cup will help your baby associate the cup with something positive."

More From The Stir: How to Choose & Use Baby Formula Safely

"Once your baby seems to like the cup, then introduce it during play with the liquid of choice in it, perhaps milk," says Vetstein. "Your baby will likely put it in his or her mouth during play. Your baby may be surprised by the fluid but will not mind as much because he or she has already gotten used to the smell of the cup and the feel of the cup in his hands. Once your baby is comfortable with the cup and has tasted the liquid without getting mad, then you can introduce it during feeding time. It's like your desensitizing your baby."

4. Ease them into it. Once the child is comfortable with a cup, replace one bottle feed with formula, breast milk, or milk (if they are over a year) in the cup.

"For example, if they are accustomed to drinking a 4-ounce bottle after a nap, change it to 4 ounces in a cup," says Connolly. "Continue to do this until all bottle meals are replaced by drinking from the cup." By about 12 months of age, it's time to fully transition the baby from the bottle to the cup. "Baby may refuse for a little at first, but just keep offering the cup, and her milk intake should slowly increase up to what's normal for age," says Wu.

5. Experiment with liquids. Some babies will balk at drinking milk or formula out of a cup since they usually get that from a bottle. If so, try water in the cup instead. Or if your baby balks at water, try milk or formula, or this sneak attack by Jess Miller, a nanny of 14 years and writer at BabyPit.com: "Give your baby a bottle of half milk and half water alongside a sippy cup of undiluted milk," she says. "Make sure you try to give your baby a drink from the cup before handing over the bottle."

From there, Miller suggests gradually adding more water (and less milk) to the baby bottle until it is an almost flavorless mixture each day. "Eventually your baby will give up the flavorless milk and go for the delicious tasting undiluted milk in the cup. Once this happens, no longer give your baby the bottle," she says. 

Or just let your baby keep using his baby bottle, but rather than milk (or other favorite drink), only use the baby bottle for water. "With time your little one will associate the cup with tastier drinks and forgo the bottle altogether," Miller says.

More from The Stir: There Is Enormous Pressure to Stop Bottle-Feeding My Baby

6. Find sources of comfort for baby other than the bottle. If your toddler is over the age of 1 and stubbornly clings to his bottle despite your best efforts to wean, face facts: that bottle is a source of security. "They've learned that drinking out of the bottle equals comfort or sleepy time, and it induces a sense of well-being," explains Wu. "Parents must learn ways to replace this comfort measure." For a child over 1, try a lovey or a stuffed animal while drinking the bottle, and add in being rocked by Mom or Dad to associate the new transitional object with comfort. Then try taking the bottle away and see if the transitional object does the trick.

"This object can be anything the child becomes attached to," Wu adds. "One baby I treated wanted to hold onto individual packets of baby wipes whenever he got upset! Just make sure it's not a choking hazard."

7. Celebrate this milestone with rewards or a "weaning party." "For kids over 2 to 3 who can understand actions and consequences, it may be appropriate to set up a reward system," says Wu. "One idea is a sticker chart for every day that the child doesn't need the bottle to go to sleep, or small prizes for every night the child doesn't use the bottle all day."

Many parents have "weaning parties" where they ceremoniously throw out the bottles, give them to charity, or send a care package to a "poor baby" somewhere who doesn't have a bottle. "The stress here is that the child is now a 'big boy' or a 'big girl,' so it empowers and encourages them to want to give up the bottle on their own," says Wu.

How did you wean your baby off the bottle?

Images via © Tim Pannell/Corbis

Hey Girl, it's official: Ryan Gosling is over us. He has eyes for only one girl now -- and it's not Eva Mendes. The sexy star became a dad when girlfriend Eva Mendes gave birth to a daughter on Friday, September 12. We can just imagine how starry-eyed Gosling will be over his new baby girl.

While we know that this is probably goodbye to "Hey Girl" forever, we think it's just the beginning of something even better ... "Hey Baby Girl." Because the only thing sexier than a hot guy is a hot dad.

Here are all the things Baby Daddy Ryan Gosling will be saying to the new girl in his life. He's going to be such a great dad. And hell yeah, he's hot. Check out photo #5 -- and we love #10!

Which Ryan Gosling is your favorite?

Image © snitcherdesk.com/Splash News/Corbis; image design by Jeanne Sager

There's nothing worse for a mom than watching your baby be wheeled off for his circumcision at the hospital (except maybe seeing it performed in front of you during the bris ... yikes!). It's your baby boy, and it's his penis, and there's a knife involved. Ouch.

But you both get through it ... and you're on constant penis watch to make sure he is okay. Then you see some bleeding at the circumcision site and start to panic. Is it normal for my son's circumcision to bleed?

Here's the deal, according to Dr. AJ Cummings, medical director of DaVinci Medical, clinical assistant professor of surgery at the University of Illinois at Chicago, and founding member of the American Academy of Emergency Medicine: after circumcision, your baby's groin, penis, and scrotum may appear reddish brown because of the liquid used to clean his skin before his surgery.

Take a deep breath. It may not be blood. But it is normal to expect to see some blood after a circumcision. 

Your baby is monitored for bleeding for two to four hours after surgery, but you will likely get to take him home that day. The shaft of his penis where the skin was removed will look red and raw. (Poor baby; you may choke back some tears.)

More from The Stir: The Circumcision Decision: 24 Parents on How They Made the Choice

Some slight bleeding may occur for the first couple of days post-op, says Dr. Cummings. You should not see a lot of blood. We are talking tiny drops here.

If it persists, call his doctor. If your gut is telling you he is bleeding too much, definitely call his doctor. Although rare, there are times when circumcision complications can be life-threatening.

"I have more than 20 years experience as an ER trauma doctor," says Dr. Cummings. "In all that time, I saw one baby who had lost so much blood from his botched circumcision that he came into the ER in hemorrhagic shock and had to be resuscitated. This was a rare case where several conditions existed, including a mom not being vigilant enough to recognize excessive bleeding after circumcision." 

In other words, botched circumcisions are infrequent, but they do happen, so it is important for moms to keep watch and follow all post-operative care instructions to a T.

That said, your son's penis will likely look worse before it gets better, and things should go back to normal down there about a week after surgery. Hang in there, mom!

Did your son bleed after his circumcision?

Image via © BEA KALLOS/epa/Corbis

Breastfeeding is a global experience. Mothers around the world have the option to nurse their newborns, but the cultural expectations and ramifications vary by nation. Lansinoh Laboratories, Inc., a breastfeeding supply company, surveyed nursing mothers about how they view breastfeeding in their country.

The global survey polled more than 13,000 moms in Brazil, China, France, Germany, Hungary, Mexico, Turkey, the United Kingdom, and the United States, and show us just how differently the cultures perceive nursing.

Little surprise: things are wildly different for moms around the world than they are here in the states. From the number of moms who want to breastfeed from the beginning to the number of women who face difficulty nursing in public, it's a very different world out there.

Are you surprised by the country where nursing a 2-year-old is most frowned upon?

Image via Corbis

Who doesn't adore baby feet? Oh, the joy of finally seeing 10 toes after nine months of pregnancy! But the little footprints that lead straight to your heart only last for a short time. Kids grow so quick -- so don't forget to get them while you can! Crafting is the way to go. Pictures do not capture feet like actual footprints.

As kids grow older, you can keep them busy with their own personal stamp projects. We've got some unforgettable DIY footprint crafts cooked up by moms around the Internet!

Where would you hang #8?

Image via Simply Kierste

As parents, and especially new ones, we tend to rely on pediatricians to tell us and help us properly care for our children. Between initial infant appointments and general growing checkups, they become our reliable confidantes, educated professionals, and the people we trust to prescribe our children the best and healthiest remedies. But what happens when you just can't stand your doctor and need to switch?

Sometimes it's a matter of location, change of insurance, disagreeing about an issue (to vaccinate or not to vaccinate), not seeing eye-to-eye about how to care for a child, or just not connecting with the doctor. All of these are valid reasons. Simply, you just totally want to dump them.

There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, we asked moms to tell us why they parted ways with their pediatricians and that's exactly what we heard. But now what should you do? To find out, we went to Stephen Hersey, M.D., a primary care pediatrician at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio to weigh in on the topic.

In many ways, leaving a pediatrician is much like leaving a romantic relationship. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to maneuver the messy breakup:

Have you ever broken up with a pediatrician? If so, why, and how did it go?

Image via Kevin/Flickr

How many times have you heard that being a mom is "the toughest job there is"? Most non-parents don't even know the half of it. In fact, SOME THINGS ARE SO RIDICULOUSLY DIFFICULT THAT DOING THEM MAKES YOU WANT TO PULL YOUR HAIR OUT OF YOUR HEAD. OR TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. The little things are often the hardest things a mom does.

Here are 14 of the hardest things we do as mothers. (GAH! Just looking at #10 makes us want to take a "time-out" right now.)

What's your most frustrating mom moment?

Image © Whisson/Jordan/Corbis

One of the things a breastfeeding mom worries about most is whether her baby is getting enough to eat. After all, you can’t really see the “bottle” draining. And if that’s not enough to stress about, some moms wonder whether their baby is getting the right kind of breast milk. There's lots of talk in breastfeeding circles about foremilk (watery, low-fat milk baby first gets when nursing) and hindmilk (the high-fat cream that follows). But is this something you really need to concern yourself with when nursing your baby?

The short answer is no.

"Breast milk is breast milk -- it all serves a great purpose," says Leigh Anne O'Connor, a lactation consultant in New York City. "Foremilk and hindmilk are the same thing; it's the fat content of the milk that is removed that varies. Most women do not need to worry about it at all." 

Research shows that there's no real reason to worry about foremilk and hindmilk while you're breastfeeding. As long as your baby seems to be nursing happily and healthfully, he'll get all the milk fat he needs. There's nothing you actively need to do for this to happen.

The problem arises when there is a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance -- that is, when a baby gets too much foremilk (and not enough cream). This can happen when mom cuts feedings short, switches "sides" too soon, or nurses too frequently. As a result of this imbalance, your baby might not gain enough weight and he could have some digestive issues.

Look for these warning signs:

In your baby ...

In mom ...

More from The Stir: The Ultimate Guide to Breastfeeding

The good news is that while foremilk/hindmilk imbalance can cause some annoying, uncomfortable symptoms for you and your baby, it's easily remedied.

Here's what to do:

In general, trust yourself. If you've got a happy, growing baby, just keep doing what you're doing. If something doesn't seem right or you or your baby exhibit symtoms of a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, talk to your doctor or lactation consultant.

Have you ever dealt with a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance?

Images © Andria Patino/Corbis; © iStock.com/jomphong

At first glance, babies might not seem that smart. Not that it's their fault! They're just young, their minds like Silly Putty -- mushy and malleable to whatever adults want to impress on them. Heck, French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau called babies "perfect idiots." Yet a growing body of science argues otherwise, claiming that babies know a whole lot more than we think they do, from physics to statistics. Check out some of their unbelievably brainy abilities in the slide show below.

Did slide #7 throw you for a loop? 

Image © Tetra Images/Corbis

The Bravo series Extreme Guide to Parenting has introduced us to some fascinating folks who parent in all different kinds of ways. Some people may think I'm one of those "extreme" types of parents, so when I heard about the family who practices attachment parenting like I do, I was very intrigued to see how they come across and in particular, how they are received.

Meet the Axness family -- mama Christian, daddy Nate, and baby Ella. They practice "conscious attachment" which they feel strengthens the emotional and physical bond between parent and child, so they never let the kid out of their sight. Ever.

And that's where I differ. I'm all for date nights without baby. And yet I'm still all about co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and babywearing. As with all parents, the way you do things even if it's the same general philosophy is going to be different. One of the things that Christian says in the episode is that life changes when you have a baby -- very true. But she adds that she and her husband adjust their life to meet the child's needs. This is true for me, somewhat, but not all of the time. And yet I still believe that the Axness family is doing it right, as am I. Because we are following our own beliefs on how to raise a child with both ways honoring a peaceful form of parenting.

What works for one family isn't going to work for another, so we need to respect each other's ways of doing things.

But I will say that Christian's elimination communication with her 16 month old seems exhausting to me. "EC" as it's called is when you let baby be without a diaper (cloth or otherwise) and look for cues when she's ready to go and then take her over to the potty. I'm not going to say I'm an expert at potty training since my twins are 4 years old now and we are still working out some kinks, but I did feel Christian was piling on the mommy guilt by blaming herself when Ella pooped on the floor. She said she should have been watching more closely. Yet, she was cooking so how could she have been paying extreme attention. That's the problem with any extreme form of anything, I suppose. There is no room for error. And as humans, even as moms, we make mistakes. Mistakes we beat ourselves up about until the end of time. I also wondered why Nate didn't notice since he was sitting right next to Ella when the EC FAIL occurred. But then I learned that this is the same dad who wore medical gloves to change a poop diaper in the early days because he didn't want to touch it. He ditched the gloves eventually.

But the true test of Christian's extreme form of parenting happened when she and baby Ella were invited to a chickenpox party. It's as you would expect -- one kid diagnosed with chickenpox has healthy kids over so they are exposed to the virus, building immunity, so they don't have to be vaccinated against it. (Sure sounds more fun than just ordering an infected chickenpox lollipop over the internet!) After learning all about the way the Axness family thinks when it comes to parenting, it seemed clear they were going to wear their party hats and contract chickenpox. But they decided not to. For the record, I wouldn't have gone either.

So even when it comes to extremes, there are going to be times when parents draw the line.

We do all have the same goal -- to raise free-thinking, independent, and successful adults. Sometimes we do different things to get there.

Is this type of parenting too extreme for you? Would you attend a chickenpox party with your child?

Image via Extreme Guide to Parenting/Bravo

There was a time, long long ago, when you could have sworn you were a competent, capable individual. Then you get pregnant, and boom: You miss deadlines, misplace your keys, or blank on the name of a coworker you've known for years ... and once you give birth, the rest of what you think is ironclad in your mind slips away, too. Friends and enemies start whispering that you suffer from "baby brain," also known as "pregnancy brain" or "momnesia" -- all jokey ways to explain a worrisome new development: pregnancy- or motherhood-induced memory loss.

For starters, you've clearly got company. "During pregnancy and after delivery, many women feel that they experience a loss of memory," says Jessica Shepherd, MD, an OB/GYN and owner of Her View Point, an online community for women. And science supports that this isn't just a figment of your imagination: One Australian analysis of 14 studies testing the memories of over 1,000 pregnant women and new moms found that memory loss does exist and can extend for up to a year after a baby's birth.

Why remains a mystery, although experts have their theories. "While we do not have clear medical evidence identifying the exact reason that some pregnant women experience 'pregnancy fog,' some theorize that changes in the hormone progesterone could be at the root of this phenomena," says Jenny Jaque, MD, an OB/GYN at the online health magazine Health Goes Female.

Progesterone is the hormone not only responsible for fatigue and mood swings during your period and pregnancy, but has also been shown to impair memory. In one study conducted in the Netherlands, women were administered a small dose of progesterone, then asked to memorize and recognize faces. Women given progesterone remembered fewer faces than those given a placebo, suggesting that this hormone alone could drain our brain of newly imported info. 

More from The Stir: Weird Dreams During Pregnancy: What They Mean

The good news? The memory loss is slight and by no means permanent: For instance, the Australian study suggests that a mom might forget a new phone number but is still be able to recall one she'd dialed many times before. Memory tests involving more novel stimuli or major multitasking caused moms to falter, but they could handle more simple, familiar tasks with ease. In other words: While this might not be the time for moms to tackle challenging new feats, they can easily manage what they've been doing already.

Moms can also do things to keep baby brain at bay, says Gia Fruscione, a physical therapist and founder of DLVR Maternity who helps pregnant and postpartum women cope with the life changes brought on by a new family member. For starters, moms should try to squeeze in a little exercise -- easier said than done when you're preggers or have just popped out a baby, but even 5 or 10 minutes of mild activity can help.

"Being physically active is essential to keep our minds well oxygenated and our brain connections strong," explains Fruscione. "Exercises where you cross over the center line of your body -- bending and touching your right hand to your left toe -- strengthen the connections between the right and left hemispheres of your brain. This kind of workout is very important for managing complex tasks."

At the end of the day, though, so what if a few facts fall through the cracks? In addition to fighting the effects of progesterone, pregnant women and new moms are grappling with lack of sleep and the emotional stress of their new lives with kids. "I, for one, was very relieved when I learned about the biochemical reasoning for baby brain," says Fruscione. "At least then I knew it really wasn't 'all in my head.'"

Did you experience 'baby brain'?

Image © Tom Grill/Corbis

Sometimes when I hear celebrity interviews, I have to stifle a yawn. Or focus on something right in front of me to stop an exaggerated eye-roll. "Married life is a fairy tale, we have kama sutra sex five times a day, and I lost all of my pregnancy weight the day after I gave birth." Blah, blah, blah.

That's what I expected to hear when newlywed Jessica Simpson chatted up Ryan Seacrest recently. She looks amazing. Her kids are adorable. And her husband is clearly crazy in love with her. But she really surprised me ... and not in a "chicken of the sea" kind of way. (Remember that infamous comment?)

Jessica Simpson said something that proves she is truly, wholeheartedly, unabashedly ... a mom.

When Ryan Seacrest asked Jessica if she was done having kids after giving birth to Maxwell, 2, and Ace, 14 months, in quick succession, she had this to say:

Oh, we are done. I say we're done. [But] I don't want to accidentally get pregnant one day and then that poor kid feels like it wasn’t meant to be or something. We’ve got the girl and we’ve got the boy.

Yup. She's a mommy. Jessica is even putting her hypothetical "oops" baby first. I think that is so sweet. 

As moms, our kids are always our main focus ... despite the advice that we need to put our own face masks on before we can assist our children. Yeah, right. That just doesn't happen on the ground, in the mom trenches. Their needs -- from meals to clothes to milestones (sorry, boss, that report can wait, I am going to see my kid say his line in his school play) -- are simply more important. We would give anything up for our kids.

More from The Stir: 15 Stupidest Celebrity Comments

Jessica's comment shows how far she really has come from her ditzy blond bombshell Newlyweds days (from her first marriage to Nick Lachey). She's Eric Johnson's wife now (changed her license to Jessica Johnson and everything), she's a doting mom to her two children, and she worries that comments made in print may upset her hypothetical "oops" baby.

Jessica, you scored serious mom points with me (though I still hate you for your killer post-pregnancy calves).

What do you think about Jessica Simpson's comment?

Image via © JONATHAN ERNST/Reuters/Corbis